The Healing Process: Forgiveness

Devotional Content: 

Emily sat across from me in my office. Twenty-four hours earlier she learned that her husband, Aiden, had been lying to her for eight months as he covered up an affair.  Devastated doesn’t really do justice to what I saw in her. As she told me the story, she cried, her voice trembled, and her body shook. It was hard to watch. Five years earlier I stood with Aiden and Emily as they recited their vows and then I pronounced them husband and wife. Now those hopes and dreams were shattered by lies, deceit, and a two-month affair.  

Emily suspected something was wrong with Aiden, but not this. Aiden’s affair began at work with a “friend of a friend.” He told Emily it lasted two months and that he ended it on his own. He never planned on telling her about it when he confessed to a friend in his small group a few months earlier. Meeting each week, his friend walked him through a process of healing with God. Eventually Aiden knew to have the marriage God wanted for them that Emily had to know the truth. They could not have a marriage built on lies.  

Emily looked at me with red eyes and said, “I don’t think I can ever forgive him. He asked me to and says he will do anything to make our marriage work but I just don’t know.”  

If a marriage is to heal, forgiveness has to be a part. Forgiveness scared Emily. “What if he did it again? What if he is not really sorry?” I could not answer those questions but I did tell her this. “If there is a chance for this to work, forgiveness has to be given. It may take time and it may be a process but that is what God tells us we need to do.” 

Whether Aiden and Emily’s marriage made it is not the point today. The point is that over time she forgave him. Forgiveness helped Aiden but it set Emily free. Her obedience to do something really difficult that God asked her to do changed Emily forever. It is part of God’s plan. Forgiveness is an essential part of every intimate relationship.

Today’s Challenge:  Dr. Kim shares that forgiveness begins the healing process. Why do you think forgiveness is a process and not just a simple step you take? 

Going Deeper:

1. Hatred, anger, and bitterness can really hurt us. Write down three reasons why forgiveness is healing.

2. Dr. Kim shares that whether or not the marriage is saved, forgiveness is still important because it frees you from anger and emotional bondage. How do you see this ringing true in your life? 

3. If you have been affected by infidelity, pray and ask God to help you work towards the goal of forgiveness and to get on the path of healing.