One By One: A 7-Day Devotional By Gina DalfonzoSample

One Body

Many of the church’s teachings about the value of marriage and family contain some truth. They’re meant to remind us of how crucial family relationships are to each of us and to society in general.

But we have to be careful not to elevate marriage and family so high that we act as if they’re the most important elements of Christianity. Getting our priorities out of whack like this is downright dangerous. It encourages us to place our greatest faith and hope in something other than God. Instead of drawing people to Christ it drives them away. 

It’s true that, at times, many of us consider our singleness and all that goes with it a problem. But leaving that question aside for the moment, it’s indisputable that to consider people a problem is something quite different—and damaging. 

Imagine being blamed because you don’t have something that you want very badly. Now imagine that one reason you don’t have what you want is that you’ve carefully followed the teachings of the people who are now blaming you.

The next time you hear a Christian equate marriage with godliness, or say something about marriage and children being the best things in life, or express the thought that “You’re not complete unless you’re married,” stop a minute and consider these ideas from the perspective of a person who’s single and childless, and not necessarily by choice. 

Paul’s portrait of the church throughout the New Testament is of more than a community. It’s “one body,” tightly knit together, each part functioning not just for itself but for others. In this body, each member needs all the others and, ideally, knows the value of all the others. At its best, the strong are there to support the weak, and the lonely are comforted and encouraged. At its best, the church lives out the truth of Psalm 68:6 and becomes a part of God setting the solitary in families.

But what happens when the church—consciously or unconsciously—elevates married people over single people? Unfortunately, there’s a lot of twisted thinking that goes with that, which can lead to a lot of hurtful behavior. Instead of helping to set the solitary in families, the church in such cases can end up making them feel even more solitary. 

In what ways does your church elevate married people over single people? Why do you think that is?