Developing Foundations for Healthy RelationshipsSample

The relationship between David and Saul (Part 3)

Over the last two studies, we have looked at the tumultuous relationship between Saul and David.

When his life story is examined as a whole, we can clearly see that Saul’s feelings toward and loyalty to David were incredibly conditional. He became consumed by jealousy and comparison. Saul liked David when he was useful to him but despised him when he became more successful and popular than him. Saul’s desire to maintain power and control led to him losing it. He fell out of favour with God and became obsessed with retaliation, vengeance, and revenge. He clambered for power and control until the very end.

On the flip side, from David, we can learn the lesson of humility. Of taking the humble and often low road. Of being a person of great and Godly character, one who displays truly unconditional love and respect for others. David was able to do this because He trusted the Lord. He was confident in the Lord and feared Him above anyone or anything else. Similarly, it is not our job to judge others or administer justice. Our job is to love God with our whole hearts, souls, and minds and to love others unconditionally. David is a great example of this, even amidst the most difficult of circumstances.

David was able to put aside his personal emotions, and instead wholeheartedly trust God, His plans, and His timing. Saul was unable to do this, and was blinded to the purposes of God. Saul was primarily concerned with building his own personal kingdom, whereas David was focused on building the Kingdom of God.

In the end, even Saul admitted this. He says in 1 Samuel 24:17:

“You are more righteous than I,” he said. “You have treated me well, but I have treated you badly.”

A major understatement, but nonetheless true.

The relational foundation we learn from Saul and David is this: our character matters. Our character is who we are when nobody can see us. Our character is what comes out when we are faced with adversity.

When it comes to studying their character, Saul and David are like two sides of the same coin. Where Saul was filled with pride, David walked in humility. Where Saul was consumed by jealousy, David was driven by loyalty. Where Saul abandoned his trust in God, David held on to it unceasingly.

If you had to place yourself on a scale from Saul (bitter, distrusting, controlling, power-hungry) to David (humble, filled with faith, loyal, selfless), where do you currently lie? Is faith and fear of the Lord the driving factors of your life? Why, or why not?

As a follow on from that, what practices can you implement into your life to ensure you are developing a Godly character? These qualities do not appear within us overnight, but are the fruit of a long-term relationship with God, and with others.

Here are some ideas (but again, asking God Himself is always best!)

• Spend daily time with Jesus; reading the Bible, and in prayer and worship.
• Regularly pray that God would change your heart, and develop His character within you.
• Pursue a Godly (wiser, usually older) mentor to help guide and shape you. Meet with them regularly, and allow them to speak into your life.
• Develop a habit of repentance.
• Serve: in your church and in your community.
• Instead of seeking revenge or vengeance, pray for those who hurt or upset you (Matthew 5:44-45).
• If needed, seek professional mental health counseling.

To finish up this three-part study of the David/Saul relationship, read the 1 Peter passage from today’s Bible references and journal or think through the following questions:

What could it look like to “clothe yourself with humility” (v5)?

What does it look like in your life to “cast your anxiety on him”(v7)?

What does it mean for you - in this season of your life - to resist the enemy and stand firm in your faith (v8-9)?

Are there any areas in which pride has crept into your life? What steps do you need to take in order to rectify that?

Are there any areas of jealousy or bitterness within you towards others?

Spend some time in prayer and repentance, asking for forgiveness and seeking the wisdom and guidance of the Lord as you pursue faith and trust in Him, an unconditional love for others, and a development of Godly character within yourself.