Healthy Biblical SexualitySample

Freedom from Sexual Shame

You might think you have to carry shame and guilt because of past sexual sins.

Shame goes hand-in-hand with both sexual addiction and sexual avoidance in marriage.

Sex is powerful, beautiful, and beneficial in many ways, and God talks about it throughout Scripture from Genesis to Revelation.

God also has an enemy that wants to pervert His good design, which is why there’s so much sexual perversion in this world. Thieves usually only counterfeit what has the most trading power, which speaks to why the enemy’s approach towards counterfeiting sex is so rampant. Sex has power.

Often, when spouses make mistakes, there can be a disconnect with their intimacy caused by resentment or shame.

Think about the enormous loss that Adam and Eve suffered when they sinned. They went from Paradise to a sinful, broken world. They could have been bitter at each other and ashamed over their own misconduct. Instead, they received God’s garments of grace that covered their shame, which brought them together in unity.

Genesis 4:1 is the first verse that speaks to Adam and Eve living in a broken world as a consequence of their sin. It says, “Now Adam had sexual relations with his wife, Eve, and she became pregnant.”

They sought unity through the powerful, beautiful act of sex. They were called to be fruitful and multiply, and although they had screwed up in the past, their acceptance of God’s grace led to unity, which led to them fulfilling God’s purpose for their lives.

Often, our problem is that God’s grace doesn’t make sense.

What does make sense in our minds is to beat ourselves up, carry shame, and feel dirty because of the sin that we’ve committed. It doesn’t make sense that God honours our confession of sin and our repentance by totally removing our sin from us. It doesn’t make sense that He would present us as “holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation — if you continue in your faith” (Colossians 1:22-23).

But He does.

Accepting God’s grace in your life for any sin is essential to your prospering sexually and in other purposes that God has for you to carry out.

Prayer: Lord, forgive me for my sins, sexual or otherwise — thank You that you hear me, forgive me, and cleanse me of all unrighteousness. Amen.

Reflection: Why do you think it is so hard to let go of shame? What more can we do to get better at this?