Room For DoubtSample

Mother Teresa's Doubt

Mother Teresa’s doubt, or dark night of the soul, perplexed her throughout her life. Yet she did not tell any of her close friends about her struggle, with the exception of her spiritual confessors— Archbishop Périer and Father Neuner—who tried to help her get to the bottom of her doubt. They tried to divine what was causing this saintly nun to plunge into seasons of darkness. Périer suggested that it was given to her “like a thorn in the flesh” to prevent her from getting prideful about how successful her mission was in Calcutta. Mother Teresa at first believed Périer’s account, that it might be pride or some other sin that was bringing this darkness upon her life.

But it was Neuner who would provide an answer that eventually satisfied this troubled nun. Father Neuner told her, “It was simply the dark night of which all masters of spiritual life know.” He counseled her that there was no human remedy or action that she could take to eliminate these seasons, but she needed to see this darkness instead as a type of solidarity with Jesus, “who in His passion had to bear the burden and darkness of the sinful world for our salvation.”

Neuner emphasized the hiddenness of God and how Mother Teresa’s longing for God’s presence actually proved that He was there. Ultimately, it was this dual identification Neuter offered to Mother Teresa that was most helpful. Her bouts with the darkness of doubt could, first of all, allow her to identify with Christ and His feelings of betrayal and rejection. Second, they would allow her to identify more deeply with the rejection, the emptiness, and the pain of the poor in Calcutta whom she was trying to help.

People of faith have been divided over the discovery of Mother Teresa’s doubt. Chris Armstrong reported that “the Christian world drew a collective breath of shock when, in 2007, we discovered through a posthumously published book that Mother Teresa of Calcutta had undergone a severe, intense dark night that persisted through almost her entire ministry.” When her doubts were publicized around the world, most in the media mocked her, revealing their gross misunderstanding of the nature of faith, doubt, and certainty. They tried to use her doubts against her faith, calling her a hypocrite.

In great contrast, I rejoiced at the revelation and felt a sense of relief. If it is okay for Mother Teresa to have doubts about God, perhaps it is okay for me. She was one of the most admired women in the world. She gave her life to serve the poor and dying in one of the biggest slums on the planet. Mother Teresa’s doubt helped me, and I believe her doubt can serve as a remedy for us suffering doubters, because the problem for many of us is this—we doubt alone. This loneliness makes us feel that, if we do not have certainty about God or our faith in God, then we are on the verge of losing faith altogether. At best, we feel like second-class Christians.

But doubt is the normal Christian life for many known and unknown saints. Again, the whole idea of faith presupposes doubt. Doubt keeps our faith honest and our prayers real. Doubt gives us some epistemological humility; in other words, we need to accept the truth that no one, I mean no one, can have absolute certainty this side of heaven. Yes, Mother Teresa doubted. She is one of a long line of doubters. It should give us courage to admit our own doubts to ourselves, to others, and especially to God. Once again, there is room for doubt in the life of faith.

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