The Good Mess: Finding Beauty in Imperfect MomentsSample

A New View

By Debbie Morris

Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. –Romans 12:18 (NLT)

A few years ago, I had an encounter with a lady who verbally attacked me. She said hateful things about Robert and me. I didn’t know who she was, and I didn’t know how to handle it. The feelings I had from the encounter lingered for a long time.

After the incident, I was interviewing a wonderful young girl for a position within our women’s ministry. I had observed this incredible woman and knew I wanted her on my team. The interview was going well until she made an innocent comment that triggered the memories of the awful encounter I had a few weeks earlier. When she made the comment, I stopped seeing her for who she truly was. Instead, I saw the other woman, and I reacted poorly.

The interview quickly went south. I made the job sound like the worst job in the world! I convinced myself that I was underselling the role so she’d be happy with how good it actually was. When we offered her the job, she didn’t take it, and I knew it was my fault.

The situation really bothered me. I had allowed a negative encounter to dictate how I reacted to someone else. It took me longer than it should have to call her, apologize, and ask for forgiveness. I couldn’t fix the encounter I had with that first woman; however, I could repent and try to redeem my relationship with this sweet girl. Thankfully, she graciously forgave me, and she took another role within the church. She’s done an incredible job! Sometimes, when I see her or hear her name, I have a tinge of regret that I didn’t get to work with her, but I’m so thankful we’re friends.

My behavior during that interview was one of a thousand mistakes I’ve made over the years, in ministry and at home. Yet I’m learning to own them and make things right, no matter how difficult it may be. People often avoid conflict or hide their mistakes, but looking straight at them is the only way to move forward. Elaine says it this way: you can’t heal what you’re unwilling to acknowledge or pursue.

The Bible says to do all we can to live in peace with everyone. That might mean taking a look at how you view other people. This might feel uncomfortable, but it’s necessary. Maybe you need to pursue healing from difficult situations in your life. Maybe you need to pick up the phone or let go of a preconceived stereotype. Whatever it is, let the Holy Spirit guide you.

First Samuel 16:7 says, “For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” God sees people for who they are, not what they do or how they look. And Christ's followers should do the same.

Our world is full of division and contempt, but when we acknowledge conflict and pursue healing, we take steps toward the biblical, supernatural unity God desires for us (see Psalm 133:1). We are witnesses of God’s love to humanity, and we should lead the way. Can you imagine what the world would look like if we did that?

Finding Beauty in the Mess

Do you need to pursue healing from a difficult encounter? Or maybe there’s someone you need to look at with a new view. Maybe there’s someone you need to ask for forgiveness. Take some time today to ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.