The Mental Mindset of Mary, Martha & MeSample

DEFENSIVENESS v POSITION

Defensive behaviour, by the very meaning of the words, reveals a need to defend or protect ourselves against insecurity, weakness, wound, or fear. To be defensive is to be overly concerned with justifying one’s actions or words. When the narratives we construct are built on falsehoods, it may lead us to wrongly perceive others as enemies, hindering our ability to recognize the truth. Luke 10:40 gives us clues into the narrative Martha may have been wrestling with. "Lord, don't you care..." Martha went from seeing Jesus as a friend – hence the dinner invitation, to challenging Him - hence the defensive attack.

The mind has the ability to gather any evidence to back up the story it is already telling itself, even if that story is based on lies.

When I think about Martha, I imagine from very young she learned to be self-sufficient out of necessity to survive. We don’t know her actual backstory. However, she may have had a deep yearning in her soul for someone to care for her. What we yearn for often becomes the very thing we fear. The fear lies in the potential for us to be hurt. In other words, What happens if I allow myself to reveal my needs but then I am not cared for? This is why our sensitivity is always on high alert, looking for evidence to support our belief that hiding our vulnerability is better. Vulnerability is scary and leaves us feeling powerless; defensiveness can make us feel powerful but it's often relationally destructive.

It appears that Martha was defending her position, and her need for support. She argued that her sister had left her to serve alone, and nobody – including Jesus – cared. When we feel that others don’t care, we take a defensive posture as we try to justify why others should care.

Position is everything. Someone once said that proximity to Jesus increases our authority as we soak in His presence. It’s like being allowed backstage purely because you are with someone with a backstage pass; if questioned, you point to the person with the pass and declare, “I’m with them.” I imagine that is exactly what happened with Mary, especially once Jesus verbally affirmed her position.

Luke 10:42: “Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

It was a drop-the-mic moment that still has ripple effects for every woman today. Women generally don’t need to puff out their chests, but this was a puff-your-chest-out moment.

I’m WITH JESUS. I don’t need the backstage pass anymore.

I BELONG.

Here is the power of that moment. If Mary had not physically positioned herself at the feet of Jesus and that opportunity was missed, would she still be living in a box? Would women today also still be living a stuck narrative?

So, let me just reiterate the truth: you and I belong at the feet of Jesus – this is our position that we can claim with both hands. Jesus declared it. We can boldly enter His presence; our position is that we belong. The position of belonging is a hope handle to hold onto when fear tells you the lie that you don’t belong.

Hebrews 4:16 (NLT): So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There, we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

DEEP WATER QUESTIONS:

• Are you living in a posture of guardedness?
• If so, what are you trying to protect?
• Name the fear of what might happen if you are not defensively protecting your heart.
• Consider how the presence of Jesus will bring peace to your deepest fears.

PRAY:

Lord, I bring you into the centre of my deepest fears. I release my need to protect and defend myself, and I choose today to make you my shelter and refuge.