The Battles Women FaceSample

The Battles Women Face: Forgiveness

The battle to forgive comes in all shapes and sizes...the childhood or innocence that you lost, the promotion that you felt was rightfully yours, or the happily ever after ending you wished you had.

Forgiveness simply means to release someone from a debt. Usually, it’s a debt that the offender, even if they wanted to, could not repay.

However, God in his infinite wisdom commands me to forgive. Why would God want me to let the person that hurt me “get away” with what they did to me? Because He knows that unforgiveness holds me as prisoner. Unforgiveness and bitterness harm me, not my offender. The scripture says that bitterness defiles us and makes us captive to sin. But we are not only affected spiritually, but physically as well. Research shows harboring unforgiveness, anger, and hatred leaves our bodies in a state of chronic anxiety and stress, high blood pressure, a weakened immune system, and an increased likelihood for depression.

Paul exhorts the believers in Ephesus not to give the devil a foothold. The devil in this scripture is translated as “slanderer”. Andy Stanley says that when we hold unforgiveness, we are giving the offender a staging ground into our life. The person we hold unforgiveness towards might have moved on, but we continue carrying that person into our future. He asks the question, “How long do you want to let your offender influence your future?”

Forgiveness is not earned because of what the offender does. It is freely given, just as Christ freely forgave us. It is unconditional and one-sided. It is required whether or not reconciliation ever occurs.

So how do I forgive?

• Make a decision to forgive.
• Be specific. Make a list of everything you feel you lost as a result of the offender.
• Pray for God’s help.
• Decide that the offender does not owe you anymore.
• Choose to walk in forgiveness on a daily basis.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you” - Lewis B Smedes