Foster Love, Not Offense

- Pastor Joni Oquist

“He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, But he who repeats or gossips about a matter separates intimate friends.” - Proverbs 17:9 (AMP)

I grew up watching Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. Fred Rogers was an ordained minister who chose the avenue of television to teach children the importance of loving and respecting one another. He had an uncanny ability to bring people together by the way he listened to and looked for the best in them. We all wanted to be his neighbor. The following quote from his book, “The World According to Mister Rogers,” reveals that, at times, even close neighbors and friends struggle to get along.

“It’s the people we love the most who can make us feel the gladdest…and the maddest! Love and anger are such a puzzle!”

Our closest relationships are often the ones that love AND hurt us the most. The offense is referred to as a bait Satan uses to trap us into unforgiveness and resentment; the enemy wants to bring us into his captivity. If fostered, offense grows and rages within until it eventually makes its way out in unkind words and accusations we later regret. Our hurt is hurled back and sadly wounds those we dearly love. If we’re not careful, we discuss the situation with others and foster the pain together. Sound familiar?

The good news is that you can refuse to let offense trap you. Following the wisdom in this verse, you can make a huge difference in your loved one’s life and relationship by choosing to forgive and foster love. This is easier said than done. Proverbs 18:19 says that an offended friend is more challenging to win back than a fortified city. It must be because we put up walls to protect ourselves from future hurt after being hurt. The problem is, how can we love OR be loved through barriers? We can’t.

Thank God for Jesus. He demonstrated His love for us while we sinned and messed up like crazy. His sacrifice on the cross reconciled us to God and made a way for us to be reconciled to each other. His love tears down the walls that divide and build us to become a dwelling where God lives by His Spirit. Whatever has happened to separate you from someone can be torn down, too.

Make a Difference:

Have you been offended? If so, take a step toward love today. Humble yourself before the Lord and thank Him for the work He did for you on the cross. Take time in His presence to experience His love and ask God to soften your heart towards the person who offended you. Restoration is possible - choose to forgive and be free from offense.

As You Read:

Take the Proverbs a bit at a time. Don’t rush through them; absorb them and see how God is speaking to you through them.