Coping With Death & Grief as a BelieverSample

Coping with the death of someone you love can be one of life’s greatest challenges. First of all, grief is a process. It takes time to mourn the loss of someone with whom you have laughed, and cried, and lived life, and created unforgettable memories. Despite how we may attempt to combat grief by using crutches to bandage it, like working long hours or portraying that we are fine, grief is an opponent that must be confronted. You cannot run from it. You cannot ignore it. You cannot immerse yourself in other things to try to forget it.

Grief must be experienced. In other words, we have to acknowledge our pain and permit ourselves to work through our emotions. Even if those feelings are unexpected and undesired, such as resentment surrounding the circumstances, or anger directed toward physicians, or God. Yes, God! You can love God and still become angry with Him in response to loss. But the key to dissolving those emotions and healing is not to deny them, but to work through them with the Father.

Second, grief is a unique, individual experience. No journey through grief is exactly the same. And though no one can dictate how long you should grieve, when this process includes time with God, He will direct us when we are at a point to move forward. Deuteronomy 34:8 says, And the children of Israel wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days: so the days of weeping and mourning for Moses were ended.

While I do not remember the precise length of time I grieved for my mother, what I do recall is that one day I just knew in my heart it was time to get up and live again. Although I was still working and taking care of business, I was not living; I was just going through the motions and existing. This is not what our loved ones desire for us, and it is certainly not what God intends for us.

Finally, grief does not have to be experienced alone. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and do not dismiss the genuine help that God sends to you. Of course, you can’t allow everyone into your inner circle, but there are people God has appointed who will stand by you at your worst and still see the best in you. God is there, but He will also use people to help you. Do not make the mistake of rejecting the blessing that God sends as help.