Victory Over Insecurity a 5-Day Devotional by Dr. Robyn L. GobinSample

Day 3: Letting go of false humility.

When we feel insecure and inferior to other people, it is normal to develop coping strategies that help us feel better about ourselves. We might isolate ourselves, shy away from being the center of attention, try to impress people by pretending to be something we’re not or exaggerate our background or experiences to ensure that we are viewed favorably by others. Another way we may deal with insecurity is through false humility. False humility is deliberately speaking negatively about yourself or your accomplishments to appear humble. This can look like speaking negatively about ourselves, discounting our achievements, downplaying compliments, and making jokes at our own expense. False humility can make us feel better about ourselves because it often attracts affirmation, praise, and reassurance from others. When we make a joke about ourselves or deflect praise that is rightfully earned, supportive people around us naturally respond by affirming our gifts or reassuring us that we are smart, attractive, accomplished, or interesting. The affirmation and reassurance we receive provides a measure of comfort and temporarily helps us to feel “good enough.”

The problem with downing ourselves to collect external validation is two-fold: (1) the focus is on us—how we are being perceived by others and what they think about us—rather than God and how He views us; (2) we are relying on others to affirm our goodness and ‘enoughness’ when God is the only source of validation we need. When we seek to be fulfilled by the recognition and praise of others, we set ourselves up to be disappointed. Since people’s opinions change with the wind, this is not a firm foundation upon which to place our self-image. We know Jesus never changes. The Hebrew writer reminds us He is the same yesterday and today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). When we build our identities on Christ, the solid rock, we can endure whatever comes our way (Matthew 7:24-29).

Reflection Question: How has false humility shown up in the way you deal with insecurities?