I Stayed: Healing Past Hurt, Betrayal & InfidelitySample

Breaking Up with Fear

Fear is a silent assassin. It tries to creep in when you least expect it to and steals your peace. Before you know it, instead of walking by faith as God instructs, you find yourself walking by sight. Yes, what you see is true: he cheated, but that doesn’t mean you have to move forward gripped by fear, afraid to do what you hear God telling you to do. I once saw a quote by Pastor Tony Evans that said, “The opposite of faith is not doubt. It’s disobedience.” Do not allow fear to push you to do the opposite of what God is telling you to do concerning your marriage.

When my husband shared with me what he’d done, God reminded me that He told me to stay in my marriage and promised me that things would turn around. After this reminder, I had a friend tell me, “Ernestine, if you do choose to leave, you’ll be ok.” I spent time with God and thought about what she said. I realized that I didn’t want to be “ok”. I wanted to be obedient, understanding that in my obedience my reward would be greater than I could ever imagine because I would be in the perfect will of God.

However, as time passed, I recognized that my every action and thought was being fueled by fear. I was afraid my husband would cheat again. My thoughts and feelings were valid, but the way I was living was not fair to me. I was not living the full and peace-filled life God intended for me. This was the case because I was constantly worrying and wondering what my husband might have been up to. Then one day it hit me. What it all boiled down to is that my fear gave birth to a lack of faith. This lack of faith was not in whether or not my husband was going to keep his word and not cheat again. Although I had never said this out loud, I recognized that I lacked faith in God sustaining me through whatever I went through.

Sis, you have to know and be confident that no matter what your husband does, God is going to sustain you. I had to break up with fear and believe in my heart that I was and am safe to be obedient and stay because God has me, no matter what!

Some of you have been walking hand in hand with fear for a long time now. For years, it has stopped you from being obedient and walking in what you hear God telling you to do. I encourage you to break covenant with fear and join hands with faith. Rest in God’s peace.

Repeat this after me, “Lord, I break covenant with fear back three and four generations. Today, I am putting my trust and faith back where it belongs - in God.”

Read and meditate on today’s scriptures and spend time journaling your thoughts and feelings. Conclude your thoughts with a life statement where you speak life to your situation. For example, "Today I’m feeling broken, but I will not always feel this way."

Keep fighting. You will grow, you will overcome, and you will heal past hurt, betrayal, and infidelity.