Find rest.

Is that a joke? Finding rest as a single mom? Motherhood is a full-time, 24/7, 365 days a year job, and there’s simply no vacation. We love those babies more than anyone else on earth possibly could. They bring us joy and laughter, and our hearts could almost burst when we see them hit a new milestone. Mothers love like no other, but we also serve like no other. The role a mom plays in a household is irreplaceable. Many moms often struggle to find time to sneak in a shower or sit down for thirty seconds, much less actually rest. And if you factor in that single moms have no reprieve offered by a spouse, it’s easy to see why single moms are exhausted.

As my older children have aged into adulthood, there are a few things I have learned to be critical for me to find rest and be the best mom I can be:

1. Join a single mom’s Bible study. I’ve said it a thousand times, and I’ll say it a thousand more. We all yearn for fellowship. Single moms are no different. Single moms' Bible studies give single mothers the opportunity to share experiences that are unique to them. They network, share ideas and best practices, celebrate the victories, and pray through the hardships. Single moms' Bible studies are growing in popularity around the country. Find one near you. This is also a great place to kick up your feet, relax, and enjoy yourself with other adults.
2. Enjoy a girls’ weekend. When was the last time you actually had a girls’ weekend? Very few of us can remember! Listen, even if you have no extra money and it’s a stay-cation, you can find great rest in gathering with girlfriends at your home for the weekend. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to encourage one another and build each other up. Make it a point to put a weekend on the calendar to host a girls’ stay-cation. Include board games, trivia, karaoke, good food, and plenty of discussion questions. Edify and encourage one another. The Lord made us for fellowship.
3. Take time for you. I talk to so many single moms who feel guilty for taking any time for themselves. They work full-time and have an endless to-do list, so when they do get a few minutes of downtime, they are convinced they cannot spend it on themselves. Yes, it is crucial that your children receive quality time with you. But also recognize that taking the time to rest, to work on you, and to grow as a woman of God isn’t slighting your children. It actually serves them well to have their mom running at 100% versus barely functioning at 50%.
4. Relinquish control. Here’s the hardest part of finding rest: it’s in understanding that God promises a special rest for His people, and He doesn’t need our help! Our rest is spiritual. It’s in knowing that God said He won’t abandon us. He said He’s always working things out for our good. He said He’s giving beauty where ashes are. Our controlling natures are exhausting us! We are trying to control our children, our homes, our futures, and we have no control over any of that. Yes, we have a free will and yes, we should be exercising self-control and seeking God’s will. But those things are very different from attempting to control every part of our lives and those around us. Mom, God loves you. Surrender your life to Him fully. Rest in the peace of knowing He is working on your behalf. His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

While not a comprehensive list of all the ways you can find rest as a single mother, I hope these tips give you the inspiration you need to learn to rest. After all, God Himself rested. If the creator of Heaven and Earth rested on the seventh day and declared it holy (see Genesis 2:3), then give yourself permission to rest too. It’s okay to rest your mind and your body. Your kiddos will be fine… I promise!

Points to Ponder:

• What does rest look like to you? Write down a list of small ways that you can find rest in your daily or weekly life.
• Will you commit to gather 3-4 girlfriends for a girls’ weekend? What good could come from it?