The Sermon of the Mount SeriesSample
Picking Your Battles – Blessed Are the Peacemakers
In their book – “Tell It To The Church,” authors Lynn R. Buzzard and Laurence Eck present a biblical approach to resolving conflict. In one of the chapters, they propose an amusing eight-step process on how to turn a disagreement into a major battle: “How to turn a disagreement into a feud:
- Be sure to develop and maintain a healthy fear of conflict, letting your own feelings build up so you are in an explosive frame of mind.
- If you must state your concerns, be as vague and general as possible. Then the other person cannot do anything practical to change the situation.
- Assume you know all the facts and you are totally right. The use of a clinching Bible verse is helpful. Speak prophetically for truth and justice; do most of the talking.
- With a touch of defiance, announce your willingness to talk with anyone who wishes to discuss the problem with you. But do not take steps to initiate such conversation.
- Latch tenaciously onto whatever evidence you can find that shows the other person is merely jealous of you.
- Judge the motivation of the other party on any previous experience that showed failure or unkindness. Keep track of any angry words.
- If the discussion should, alas, become serious, view the issue as a win/lose struggle. Avoid possible solutions and go for total victory and unconditional surrender. Don’t get too many options on the table.
- Pass the buck! If you are about to get cornered into a solution, indicate you are without power to settle; you need your partner, spouse, bank, whatever.”
I read the list and could not help but laugh at the shrewd insight the authors offered on passive-aggressive conflict. Truthfully, most people can think of at least one person they know who displays this type of behavior regarding disagreements.
I confess that it took me many years to understand and identify the passive-aggressive personality. I was raised in an environment highly influenced by the culture of southern Spain and Portugal. One of the characteristics of people that originate from the Iberian Peninsula, in comparison to those of Anglo-Saxon origin, is their tendency to be direct and wear their feelings on their sleeves, so to speak.
I never had to wonder how my mother felt. If someone disagreed with me, they simply told me so. We would sometimes fight, make peace, and, more often than not, forgive and forget.
Because of the culture I was raised, it took me a long time to be able to identify passive-aggressive behavior. Truth is — I still have difficulty dealing with people who are hard to read.
Passive-aggressive individuals may seem peaceful and controlled on the outside, but the truth is, deep down, anger, jealousy, and contempt simmer like a volcano, ready to explode.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”Matthew 5:9
Jesus said these words in his longest sermon recorded in Scriptures: The Sermon of the Mount. While researching the sermon for a paper I am writing, I came across interesting geological information about the Mount of Beatitudes.
This mount is located on the Korazim Plateau — a volcanic plateau in northern Israel. I find it interesting that Jesus would give instructions about peace, purity, and mercy while his audience sat on a dormant volcano.
Think about the paradox of the imagery: Peace on the surface is not always a reflection of what lies deep within.
Indeed, throughout the sermon, Jesus called his Jewish audience to look past the outer aspects of religion, which were so widely revered at the time.
This beatitude teaches that seeking peace with others is a characteristic observed in those who have found peace with God.
As funny as the “eight-step process on how to turn an argument into a feud” may be, it delivers a sobering reflection on the condition of one’s heart: Will we value pride over peace? Or will we choose to resolve our differences with honesty, clarity and humility?
May we choose today to become peacemakers instead of peace-breakers, lest all our religious efforts be mocked, our influence shattered and our words … forgotten!
Question: Do you tend to turn battles into wars? How does the insight into this beatitude challenge you to become a peacemaker?
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