David and Mical: The Problem of Getting Back With Your ExSample

THE PROBLEM OF GETTING BACK WITH YOUR EX - PART 2

"David answered him:" I agree to make a pact with you, but on one condition: that you do not appear before me without bringing with you when you come to see me, Mical, the daughter of Saul" (2 Samuel 3: 13 DHHED).

Beyond the destruction of the family of Paltiel and Mical, there is another mistake that this story shows us when it comes to re-establishing a relationship from the past. What was David's reason for trying to get back to Mical? It may seem that he resorted to a legitimate right and that his motivation was love. However, the context seems to suggest that David's reasons for getting back with his ex were diplomatic at best.

During an intense battle between two families vying for the royal crown (2 Samuel 3:1), David was receiving a defector from the other side: General Abner. It is in the midst of negotiations for the crown that David requests that Mical be returned to him as his wife. David did not consider the implications of destroying Mical's current family, nor did he take an interest in Paltiel's feelings.

The second great lesson this story teaches us is that if we want to get back with whom we were in a relationship, we must do it for the right reasons. When we play with a person's heart by being in a position of power or exercising emotional manipulation, we manifest a spirit contrary to that of true love and doom our relationships to failure, in the short or long term.

On more than one occasion, young people make sentimental decisions selfishly. If it provokes strong emotions, if it is economically convenient, if it is physically pleasing, or if it seems good to others, these are reasons why many people enter into a relationship, and even get married.

The Bible warns about the danger of letting ourselves be carried away by appearances or intuition. God told Samuel when Eliab dazzled him: "But the Lord said to him: 'Do not look at his appearance or his lofty stature, for I have rejected him. It is not a matter of what man sees, because man looks at appearances. I look at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7 DHHED).

Whether you plan to start or resume a relationship, take a critical look at your motivations. If what moves you is your "infallible" sixth sense or the overwhelming sensations you have when being with that person, stop. Seek advice, and talk to God about it. Whatever decision you make, you will remember this advice for the rest of your life.

Lessons on the side:

Let's stop romanticizing selfishness. Movies and novels very often approach love in a possessive and dominant way, and many get the idea that this is healthy – and even desirable. The love of 1 Corinthians 13 "does not seek its own" (v. 5) because that is the love of God.

If the opinion of the people, financial and social convenience, or the selfish abuse of power are things that motivate your relationship, you are condemning yourself to sentimental failure. All advice should be listened to, but God's guidance and the loving commitment between the couple are more important for stability than the superficial appearance of happiness and stability.

There are many people like David, succeeding in professional and public life at the price of emotionally destroying his family and third parties. In the same way, the time comes to suffer the consequences of those irresponsibilities.

- Pr. Neilyn Solís.