Listen to Them

In our digital world, where devices and screens vie for our attention, people want to spend time with those who will truly listen to them. The second habit in the B.L.E.S.S. lifestyle is to listen to them. Prayer is only the beginning of this way of life. At some point, we must leave our ‘prayer closet’ and engage people in conversations that make them feel seen and heard.

Way too often, we are quick to speak, fast to get angry, and slow to listen. Maybe that is why the Apostle James challenged us to do the opposite: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). Most people don’t listen to understand—they only listen to prepare their rebuttal. Listening is both a skill that can be learned and a gift that God bestows. Proverbs 20:12 says, “Ears to hear and eyes to see—both are gifts from the Lord.” We can always learn to become better listeners, but we should also ask Jesus, the Master of life-giving conversations, to give us the gift of a listening ear.

1. There are 5 qualities that all good listeners exemplify:
2. Good listening is much more than being silent while the other person talks.
3. Good listening includes interactions that build a person’s self-esteem.
4. Good listening is a cooperative conversation.
5. Good listeners tend to make suggestions.
6. Good listeners demonstrate empathy.

The next time you are having a conversation with someone far from God, try to apply these insights. If you’re unsure how to strike up a conversation, start by asking questions that show genuine interest in getting to know the person before you. Ask questions about their history and background, employment, social life, faith calling, life and purpose. Then sit back and really listen to their answers. When you do, they will feel valued, and many times give you the opportunity to share your heart with them.

GUIDED PRAYER

Heavenly Father, I ask you to give me ears to hear those who engage in conversations with me. Help me put my phone down, make eye contact, ask good questions, and really listen to people. Give me opportunities to have conversations with each of the five people I am praying for and teach me how to listen in a way that makes them feel valued, seen, and heard. As they talk, help me to go beyond their words to hear their heart and what your Spirit would say to them in the moment. I continue to pray that you would make yourself known to __________, __________, ___________, __________, and ___________. Use me soon to share your good news with them.

REFLECT

1. After reading this, in what areas do you need to grow to become a good listener?
2. Think about your 5. Do you make them feel seen and heard? Are you listening to them with empathy? Does your input leave them feeling inspired and hopeful?

CALL TO ACTION

Set up a time to talk to at least one of the 5 people you are praying for this week. It could be a phone call, a walk around the neighborhood, a coffee break at the office, etc. Review the qualities of a good listener prior to your conversation and practice listening to that person as they share their stories and heart. Ask God to give you the right words to communicate not just your opinion on matters, but your care and concern for them.