REALITY

HEART

Sometimes it’s hard for us guys to be honest about our feelings. It’s much more comfortable to put off hard conversations, in hopes that our problems will somehow work themselves out in the end.

Becoming good men requires us to get in touch with the reality of what we’re feeling; what makes us hope, what makes us hurt, and what makes us happy. And if there’s ever a time to get in touch with reality about our lives, it’s right now, before you make choices that impact your life, and the lives of others, forever. Choosing to get in touch with your feelings, as cringy as that sounds, will determine your ability to cope with the important reality you’re facing. Here’s something important to remember: A man must recognize the difference between what he feels and what is real.

In Hebrew history, King David is famous for his skills in battle. He’s also an amazing example of digging into the highs and lows of emotions. Like him, you are created for more than one mode of operation. If, whenever emotion hits, there’s basically one reaction (maybe anger, shut-down, or shame), it just means there’s some growing to do in this area. As you read the Psalms from David today in the verses, remember, if he can do it, so can you. You’re up for the challenge!

If something goes wrong with your car's engine, chances are you’ll have a feeling about what it could be. However, would you buy an expensive auto part to fix a vehicle before popping the hood to see what’s actually wrong? Of course not. You would take a closer look, or talk to someone who could help you diagnose the problem. In the same way, how can you fix what’s broken in your life without opening up and taking a look inside your heart and soul?

It may not be easy to open up about the broken parts of your life that you’d rather keep secret, but it’s important. Whether it’s your dreams, goals, family, or relationships, I want to help you get below the surface into who you are, and who you want to become, and empower you to make life-giving decisions. That takes bravery and hard work.

Here’s another important item to remember: Kids don’t need perfection; they just need you. If being perfect is what it took to be a dad, then there wouldn’t be any dads! Facing your imperfections is a courageous first step toward becoming the dad you’re meant to be. One of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself, and those you care about is to admit, “I don’t have it all together, but I’m willing to change and grow with you.” Our verse today in 1 John is a great reminder of presence over perfection. You can have peace knowing that you’re secure in God’s love, and then you can give that same gift to your kids.

Dawson McAllister, founder of The Hope Line, once said, “Men are more physical and tend to work out their emotions by finding solutions and doing things. The harm is when men keep stuffing all their feelings inside, letting them simmer and brew, and potentially eat away at them, eventually coming out as anger. There are tremendous benefits to getting your thoughts and emotions out in the open, in the context of a safe relationship, and not letting them destroy you.”

WORK

This may be the kind of ‘work’ that’s at the bottom of your bucket list. But ask yourself, are you willing to look under the hood of your heart and life? If so, what is it in your life that you think needs to be fixed?

If you‘re not willing to explore what’s broken or hurting inside of you right now, what’s keeping you from something so important?