Fatherhood GoldSample

Recently, I asked my 76-year-old dad to share the best lesson he learned about fatherhood.

He responded, "I am still learning. A desire for continuous learning is a must if you love your kids. You don't stop learning until you take your last breath."

His answer got me thinking: if experiencing success and fulfillment in fatherhood is inextricably linked to continuous learning, what drives men to disengage from learning after their kids reach a certain age? What prevents them from not embarking on this lifelong learning journey at all? I believe one of the following or a combination of these reasons, along with the attitude statements that represent them:

1. Insecurity - "I have some shortcomings in my life, so I'm not qualified to be a father."
2. Fear - "What if my kids don't follow my lead or buy into my leadership as a father."
3. Inadequacy - "I don't know what to do. I have never been a father in this season of my child's life."
4. Reluctance - "Let someone else (mom, teachers, coaches, grandparents, the church, the government) do it."

Sadly, we have bought into the idea that being a father should come easily and naturally to us. So when we don't experience life as fathers this way, we are tempted to check out physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

However, adopting a learner's mindset anchored in humility and love helps us recognize we can navigate the uncertainties, complexities, and challenges of fatherhood through lifelong learning. When we accept the reality that no one is born a great father but that we learn to be great fathers, we make space for the grace and time it takes to learn how to be great fathers.

We will be unashamed to reach out and ask questions, find resources, and ask for support to carry out our most important responsibility - loving and leading our kids and helping usher them toward the mark of their great calling. There is no silver bullet to being a great father, just a willingness to learn and grow from the moment we have a baby until the moment we take our last breath.