Finding Your Fighters: How to Strategically Find Community During Porn AddictionSample

What does the Bible say about isolation?

If God loves community then the enemy thrives in isolation. As we discussed yesterday, there is power and freedom in community. So naturally, the enemy hates it. We should feel so much power in this. The reason the enemy hates community is because in it, we thrive spiritually. I don’t know about you, but that makes me feel heckin’ powerful when I’m surrounded by my godly friends.

Shame and isolation contribute to a vicious cycle. In isolation, we have no one to point us back to the truth. Isn’t it always when we’re lying in bed alone in a dark, quiet room that the enemy starts whispering lies in our ear? Our thoughts start spiraling out of control. Intrusive thoughts break through in the silence.

The enemy weaves lies into our stories. He is sneaky and subtle. We begin to dwell on those lies, jump to conclusions, and forget to hold it all up to the light of God’s Word. So we feel even more shame. To cope with our shame, we often return to the thing that has given us temporary satisfaction for so long: pornography. The shame we experience feels so heavy that we convince ourselves no one will love us and therefore isolation is the safest place to be.

This vicious cycle continues until we become so weathered down like David in Psalm 32.

Isolation is not a place we have to be. It is a place we choose to go when we forget that God’s grace is a gift! What may start as conviction quickly turns to shame when we start to think of grace and love as something that must be earned. We choose to remain isolated to preserve our reputation. We choose to hide because we believe our actions make us dirty, unworthy, and unlovable. We start to define ourselves based on the things we have done rather than resting in the truth that we are made in the image of God.

Friends, you do not have to stay in isolation. You have a God who loves you unconditionally and wants so badly for you to come out of hiding. Vulnerability is intimidating because you are emotionally and spiritually “naked” before God and others. And right now that might seem like a bad nightmare to you! Don’t panic, because tomorrow we will talk more in depth about confession and how good it really is!

• Can you relate to David in Psalm 32:3-4? How so?
• Have you hidden a part of yourself from God and from others? What is it, and why are you hiding?
• How have you experienced shame in your journey to overcoming pornography?