Exploring Forgiveness Through FilmSample

We Are Not Unlovable

In the movie “The Secret Life of Bees,” a young mom caught in a hurtful and challenging marriage decides to leave the relationship. She is packing her belongings when her husband enters the room, and accusations fly. Their 4-year-old daughter Lily is a silent witness to their argument. As her parents struggle, a gun falls to the floor, and Lily picks it up. She tries to give it back to her mama, but the gun goes off, and her mama is killed.

Through the years, Lily’s father continually reminds Lily that her mother never wanted her. Not only is she haunted by the death of her mama, but she lives with the pain of thinking she was unwanted. Lily eventually runs away from home and meets Miss August and her sisters, who take her in. Over time, Lily finds the strength to confide in Miss August. Through heartbreaking tears of shame, she tells her, “I may be a bad person, but I just can’t help it…I killed my mother…I’m unlovable.”

The path to getting past shame and guilt lies in the gift of forgiveness from God. When Jesus was crucified on the cross, he took on all of our sins – every single one. When we confess our sins to God and ask Jesus to take them away - they’re removed forever! (Psalm 32:5). Sometimes, though, we struggle with feeling forgiven. We tend to replay incidents over and over in our head which reinforces those awful feelings of guilt and shame – just like Lily. And we continue to punish ourselves for something which we’ve already confessed and given to God.

We can’t change our past, but God can change our future. When thoughts of guilt and shame enter our minds, we need to remind ourselves that God already forgave us for that “thing we did.” We are holy and blameless in his sight. When guilt tells us we are alone, we need to remember that God promised to always be by our side. When shame says we are unworthy, we need to remember that we are precious to God. In fact, he delights in us. When shame tells us we are unlovable, we need to remember that God loved us so much that he sent Jesus to pay for our sins, past and future, securing our place in Heaven forever. We are loved, no matter what!

Do you feel isolated, worthless, or unlovable? You may be harboring feelings of guilt and/or shame. Sometimes breaking free from that cycle can be difficult, and you may find it valuable to talk with a mental health professional who can help you become a healthier and happier you.