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Anger Is a Choice
By Rick Warren

“Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.” (Proverbs 29:11 NLT)

If you want to tame your temper, you must resolve to manage it.

You have to quit saying, “I can’t control it!” and realize that you can. Just like love, anger is a choice. When you get angry, you choose to get angry. Nobody is forcing you to get angry. People say, “You make me so mad!” But nobody can make you mad without your permission. Anger is a choice; you must control it if you want to be a loving person.

You have far more control over your anger than you may want to admit. Let me give you an example.

Let’s say you’re at home and you’re in an argument with somebody in your family. Your voices are raised, you’re getting excited, and you’re upset. All of a sudden, the phone rings, and you answer sweetly, “Hello? Oh, yes! It’s for you, honey!”

What happened? You didn’t want to be embarrassed or have to explain, so you quickly flipped your anger off. Anger is highly controllable!

The Bible says in Proverbs 29:11, “Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back” (NLT). Do you want to be a foolish person or a wise person? How you respond to a situation is your responsibility and yours alone. Anger is a choice.

The time to decide to manage your anger is not when your blood pressure is rising, your adrenaline is shooting into your system, you can feel the flush in your face, and your muscles tense.

You’ve already lost the battle at that point.

Resolve to manage your anger in advance — before you go into that meeting or open the front door to home at the end of the day. You decide, “Today, I’m just not going to get angry. I’m not going to let it get to me.” You manage your anger by first resolving — deciding in advance — that you’re going to hold back your anger.

Talk It Over

What are some strategies you can use or have used to keep your anger in check?

What is a better way to respond to a situation that makes you angry? How can you get your message across without being foolish?

What do you think is the loving way to respond to someone who cannot control his or her anger?