Goodbye SHAME – Hello FREEDOMSample

I Thought I Was The Only One

Every time I begin to speak and share some of the secrets of my past, most are shocked, at first, until the room begins to shift, tears well, and hurting hearts respond, “I thought I was the only one.”

What happens next, is God’s plan, His plan for you. As I share, person after person experiences their own freedom to speak up and share what they previously found “unspeakable”. This is quietly becoming the greatest rescue project running under the radar in our culture. It’s no longer just the “Me Too Movement.” It’s a call to freedom where everyone – men, women, children, leaders, teachers, friends, and loved ones – all begin to speak up and say … “us too.”

We all are longing for a pathway to freedom, and an invitation to talk about the unspoken. As you let the Lord reveal to you what needs to be brought to the light, allow Him to guide you, as you step into those raw, unfiltered, soul-quenching conversations and share the depth of not just part but all you have endured. Write down what you have never spoken, prepare yourself to release, think of what you have carried too long, who you need to forgive and give to God. Scales of shame and fear will begin to fall from your eyes, and you will feel a release, a rush of freedom, a domino effect of healing. Do not give in to the fear, the enemy will lie and try and convince you no one will see you the same. The truth is they will see you as stronger, a survivor.

Millions globally have lived paralyzed by secrets. The average age a survivor of sexual trauma speaks up is fifty-two. Contrast that with the average age a little girl or little boy starts to keep their first secret of sexual abuse - usually three to five years old. That is a long valley of silence of grooming, shame, and hiding.

This gap of silence cannot continue to exist. I have sat with Christian leaders and elders as they, for the first time in their seventies, shared of multiple abortions or hidden addictions. Finally, releasing decades of shame, they connect the root of abuse and learn how their choices were symptoms. We need to help each other connect these dots and offer others and ourselves an off-ramp to healing and release.

After a decade of trying to restore young girls in their twenties who had been sold for sex up to twenty-five times a day, and used since they were three, a HOLY DISCONTENT rose in my spirit. I knew a path to restoration was what was needed, that going upstream to intervene, before the decades of abuse and secrets, was God’s heart. Let’s begin with you. Let’s interrupt your story.

And remember, as you begin to release and realize who you need to forgive, that forgiveness is for you. Ask the Lord to show you who you need to release – TO HIM. This is not saying that what they did was ok, or you shouldn’t feel pain, but rather, this is saying“Lord- it's time. I give this to you, I release this story, this person, and I trust you to repay this evil and wrong done to me.” No more holding or hiding. Share it, don’t cover for them, but release them to God.

Reflect:

When you hear the stats and the norm of secrets does it make you feel different? Less alone?

Does a person immediately come to mind? Ask God to highlight all you have not yet forgiven. What emotions come to mind? Anger, fear, resentment, hatred- pay attention as these are areas you have come into agreement with- we want to be aware so you can break that agreement.

Do you have people in your life that you are completely transparent with? Do you live in a family of secrets, are you drawn to others that seem to be open? Can you think of a person that is in your life that seems to walk in freedom?