Reflect

James 1:2-5

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

Proverbs 19:20-21

“Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

Although this probably isn’t the second chance you wanted, it’s the one you’re getting. You have an opportunity to take everything you learned from your marriage and do things differently this time. You’re wiser, and with wisdom comes the ability to make better decisions for yourself and your family.

Being prudent is essential when dating after a divorce. If you have kids, you have even more on the line than you did the last time you entered the dating scene. You can set yourself up for a better experience by showing care and thought for your future.

This might look like…

• Going to therapy to ensure you’ve healed from any lingering trauma from your past relationship
• Joining a singles group to connect with others who are also navigating dating after a divorce
• Talking to your kids about divorce, relationships, love, marriage, and trusting God through it all
• Asking your kids for their opinion of you dating again and making the decision as a family to ensure everyone feels loved and supported
• Finding a mentor who can provide spiritual guidance as you navigate setting boundaries and dating in a way that honors God
• Committing to reading your Bible daily to ensure Christ is at the forefront of your mind and the center of all your decisions
• Acknowledging red flags and not ignoring them because you’re lonely or tired of dating
• Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually and not “losing yourself” in a relationship
• Dating people who share your faith and beliefs and making misaligned beliefs a deal-breaker for any future relationship

It’s important to remember that you can do all these things–you can use your experiences and wisdom to date well after divorce–but it doesn’t mean everything will go perfectly. It doesn’t mean you’ll find love quickly, if at all. But if you choose to walk in wisdom and follow God wholeheartedly, you will experience good things. God promises good things to those who love Him and live according to His will.