The Preparation: 7-Day Devotional for the Soon-to-Be WifeSample

Garter: Tossing Sexual Shame

I’ve been to quite a few weddings where the retrieving of the garter right before the toss was a little uncomfortable to watch if you know what I mean. However, Damien and I chose to do the garter toss but kept it super PG for that matter. Most of our community knew we chose to wait to have sex with each other until marriage because we wanted to do things God’s way. In yesterday’s devotional, I gave you your veil symbolizing intimacy. In today’s devotional, I want to continue on that wavelength and give you your garter which symbolizes sex.

1 Corinthians 7:2-3 (NLT) says,

“But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs.”

I’m not sure what your sexual past consists of, but most people’s (including my own) was full of brokenness and missing the mark on what God intended for it to be. Even here in scripture, we see sexual immorality as a common problem. This is nothing new, but it doesn’t mean that it isn’t serious. We live in a fallen world filled with all forms of sexual sin. I’ve heard from several preachers that sex is like fire. Inside a fireplace (in God’s design), it is beautiful. However, outside of a fireplace (in Satan’s perversion), it can destroy the entire house. But God is so gracious and kind that He wants to turn those ashes into beauty by redeeming and healing any sexual brokenness from our past or even present. That’s if we repent, allow Him to come in, and submit to His ways. God doesn’t want you to not enjoy sex. He just created it for marriage because He doesn’t want you to be burned. Sex is meant for so many good things like pleasure, oneness, and means for procreating.

Sometimes, even in marriage, we can still abuse sex. Sex, unfortunately, has been used as means to manipulate, control, or punish a spouse. It can also be a source of insecurity and shame, causing a feeling of inadequacy and a need to perform. Sis, don’t dangle sex in front of your future husband, and don’t allow certain controllable things to prevent you from being sexually active with your husband, regularly. Leave no room for the enemy to come into your marriage and cause temptation. Have a heart to serve your spouse, sexually. Rest in knowing that needs aren’t automatically understood but rather are communicated and learned. You will have your entire marriage to learn how to please each other in this area. So remove the pressure for performance. Toss any garter of shame or insecurity from your past or fear of your future in regards to sex within marriage, and surrender your sexuality to God. He wants to bless your sex life in marriage.

Prayer

Father, thank You for Your grace and mercy. I repent of any ways that I have sinned against You including the area of sex/lust. I pray that You will reveal and restore all brokenness within me. Help me to walk in purity, not just before marriage but also within marriage. Cleanse my thoughts, my heart, my speech, and my soul, spirit, and body. I give my body as a living and holy sacrifice to You. Help me to understand and trust Your purpose for sex within marriage. May I never use it as a weapon in marriage but treat it as the gift it is. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.