[Gregg Matte Wisdom of Solomon] Deep Roots in RelationshipSample

I Am His and He Is Mine

Solomon knew his wife well. He knew how to praise her and make her feel secure. They had walked together for a long time. They encouraged one another. Serving one another with words became natural—not that it was easy, but they worked together towards it. Their love fueled it. Solomon is showing us how to serve our spouse by words and intimacy. God has given us a beautiful oasis of sexual intimacy within marriage. It is a bit of heaven on earth in our home. With all the chaos going on around the world, God created this oasis to retreat and breathe in. But notice that the words of praise, the compliments, precede intimacy.

If you remember, Solomon tells her how beautiful and pleasant she is. He delighted in her. She was truly his oasis. He wanted to climb the palm tree and take hold of its fruit, and he did. An oasis was a place where, though everything around it was dry, you could find fruit and refreshment there. The words of affirmation created this oasis. What have your comments created lately? Do you find solace and refreshment in your spouse? Can you serve one another with intimacy coming from a foundation of praise?

She interrupts Solomon and kisses him. She says that she is his, and his desire is for her. That line is poetic. She and he have matured so much in their relationship that she is finishing his sentences. They are unified. They are so locked in step that they know how one another thinks. Because they know each other so well and delight in one another, their relationship has produced a godly intimacy. This is how it was supposed to be. You’re not supposed to rush to bed to fulfill lusts, but rather as an expression of the love and commitment you have, saying, “I want to marry you and care for you.” Solomon wanted to tell his bride, from top to bottom and bottom to top, everything he loved and saw in her.

Do you want this intimacy? It comes from knowing God’s template. It comes from seeing your spouse as someone not to be used, but as your partner and best friend. You don’t see this kind of love in movies or books; you see it only if you walk with the Lord. The only sexuality that God blesses is between a husband and a wife. It’s to be in a relationship where you can truly say not that just this person is yours, but their desire is for you and you alone.