Healed By Listening

Powerful Example

Perched on a log in the Potomac River, I sensed a heaviness in my body. Like the air, heavy with moisture, my spirits were weighed down. A new friend of mine who had just moved to DC had driven me to this quaint waterfall spot, where she asked me about my experience of community after college. As I responded, I could hear the disappointment in my once-hopeful tone, and all the loneliness packed into my answer: “I do not really ever feel understood.” Truly, I unraveled for several hours as I shared about how I dreamed of a female community where I felt received and a space where I could pray in a way that was expressive, creative, and musical.

My friend listened to me completely from start to finish, and by the safety of our exchange, I knew she understood me. On the mud-coated log we shared, she asked if we could pray and discern what it would mean to create the community we so desperately hoped for. She offered to walk alongside me, accompanying me in my loneliness, and then catalyzed a vision for community I would not have seen as possible.

I did not have the fortitude to harness my loneliness and recast it as an opportunity for community-building, but my kind, holy friend did, and my life is radically different for it. If I had never shared my loneliness with her that day in such trust and vulnerability, I would not have gone on to start a worship ministry for young adults at my diocese or hosted a Blessed Brunch* the following month to connect women in my neighborhood. By her example and with her companionship, I am learning to make an offering of my life and have leaned into the deep connectedness that offers.

Sister, we should all have someone who shows up for us as my friend did and reminds us what it looks like to pursue heaven’s treasure. Who is that woman for you? Perhaps it is a friend from college or a woman at your parish. Maybe it is a woman at your place of work or in your neighborhood, or maybe you are several time zones away. The deep work of listening and encouraging each other takes place in these kinds of friendships. It is here we are empowered to go forth from one another and create space for others.

Understanding our lives as offerings not only nourishes our communities, but it serves the Kingdom. It is the call put on our hearts by Jesus, as heard in this week’s scripture: “Sell your possessions, and give alms. Make purses for yourselves that do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys” (Luke 12:33). We are called to offer not only our possessions but ourselves.

Our friendships with women must reconvict us of a desire to live wholly devoted to Jesus where we are always aligned with our identity as beloved. When we help each other pursue heaven, loving others as Jesus would, we create communities that endure forever. By creating space for each other, by listening and praying together, we might be integral in another’s healing and growth.

Since my friend lives her life this way, she was free to offer me hours of uninterrupted, agenda-free time on that log, fully able to receive me, much as I imagine Jesus would have. And it is still ministering to me over a year later.

* Blessed Brunches is a way for women—no matter their state in life, their vocation, their calling—to make space for one another. Whether it be attending a brunch and meeting a friend for the first time or hosting a gathering with your friends.

Reflection Questions

• Run through a list of women in your life you would like to give intentional time to. How is God asking you to make space for each one? Reach out today.
• Are you part of a community that feeds you? What would you change about your friend group or relationships to make sure they feed you spiritually as well as emotionally?