Real Hope: GriefSample

Walking Alongside

Allowing God to be our trusted friend and good shepherd as we journey the terrain of grief can help us navigate the spiritual work of grief. Allowing other people we know to become companions in our journey of grief can give us support and practical help. Friends, who can laugh with us at funny memories, cry with us in the rush of unexpected tears, and wait in silence with us when there are no words, are the best.

We have all heard stories of the unhelpful things that people have done or said when trying to support a friend in their grief. This can sometimes make us feel uncertain about what to say or do when someone we know is grieving. The reality is, what might be a comfort for one person, can be unwanted or even offensive to another.

I’ve found it helps to humbly say up front that I’m likely to get something wrong along the way and then ask my grieving friend to tell me when I do, so I can apologize and try again to be the supporter they need. I have also found that grieving people will find their own words to describe their grief. The best thing is to listen and reflect back their thoughts rather than trying to explain the grief in our terms.

Given support, grieving people can usually discover what helps them to grieve well. This may include discovering resources, groups, or other professional help, and we can just be the friend.

Written by Kath Henry