The Rhythm of UsSample

The Rhythm of Slowing

Hurrying—might just be the most dangerous sin of all because it doesn’t really feel like one. But busyness, hurry, and distraction have the greatest potential to steal the most joy from our lives. And the joy of the Lord, as a friend recently reminded me, is actually where our strength comes from (Nehemiah 8:10). When we say yes to the people in our lives who matter most—when we choose to be completely present, with hearts fully alive and filled with gratitude for this gift of life, delighting in God and in our people—we are at our strongest. It’s almost as if joy builds a shield of protection all around us, guarding us against the destructive distractions and busyness of the world. We will never truly enjoy our lives, our relationships, and our moments if we’re just rushing from one activity to the next.

Love simply cannot grow when we’re in too much of a hurry to cultivate it. Love only grows when we slow down long enough to cherish the people right in front of us, open our eyes to see the beauty they carry, and simply receive the delight of being fully present with them. True connection—giving our full, undistracted attention—is one of the best gifts we can give to our spouse, our kids, and all the relationships we value most.

Thriving couples say yes to the small moments together.

Countless things need to be done over the course of a day, but the way in which we accomplish them does not have to mean plowing over or completely ignoring those we love, therefore stripping all meaning and connection from our day.

What it means to number our days.

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

I love how the psalm says, "Teach us to number our days." It doesn't come naturally; we need to be taught. So we begin by praying for what we lack. “Teach us, Lord, to make our days count. To open our eyes to see what truly matters most and to communicate our love by slowing down long enough to build true connection.” Numbering our days means remembering they are all a gift from God—and that before we know it, they will all be gone. When we live with this mindset, we can walk through life with great intention, slowing down and saying yes to what truly matters most.

No matter where this finds you and your emotional connection to your spouse, strong or weak, the great news is we can begin today. We can choose to say yes to our spouse’s invitations for connection. These opportunities can be anything from “Hey, did you read that article I sent?” to “Hey, do you want to make love?” Simply engaging them, stopping whatever we’re doing to show genuine interest in our spouse and what they are saying to us, builds the connection that will add up over time. Every time we slow down to truly connect with our spouse leads us, step by step, into a thriving marriage.

PRACTICE:

1. Keep a running list with you of times throughout your week when hurry is creeping in. In what ways can you proactively eliminate hurry from those areas of your life?
2. Be on the lookout this week for opportunities to slow down and say yes to your spouse.
3. Make a mental note of when you say yes or no this week. Who and what are you saying yes to? How can you shift your schedule and priorities to give more yes to those you love most?
4. This week, put a date on the calendar to soak up a sunset together.