The FoundationSample

Readjusting Expectations

Devotional Content:

Think about what would make you happy in terms of your marriage relationship. Does knowing that God sent you this man or this woman who is perfect for you make you happy? Is your spouse enough? From a fantasy of marriage perspective, the answer to these questions would be yes. But from a realistic perspective, the answer is no.

There was a time in our marriage when we both bought into the fantasy that we could make each other happy. As time went on, it was killing us. We were heading for disaster. Finally we got it. We realized that our expectations had been unrealistic. In my marriage, if Nancy looked to me to complete her—to make her happy—I would fail. There are times I do make her happy, but not all the time. I am human and make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes I hit home runs and sometimes I strike out.

The reality is that a spouse is not designed to meet every need—that job is already taken by God. Expecting Nancy to meet all my needs sets her up for failure. But if I let God meet all the needs that He wants to meet in my life, then that allows Nancy to meet the needs He has designed her to meet in my life. That works. That is the way God designed it.

Today’s Challenge:

Think about what you can do today to begin allowing God to meet the needs in your life that He wants to meet.

Going deeper:

1. In your marriage, what would make you happy?

2. What are the expectations you have for your spouse in marriage? List them and then decide if they are realistic or not.

3. How does it affect you and your marriage when your spouse "strikes out"?

4. What is the difference in letting God meet the needs He wants in your life and expecting your spouse to meet all your needs?

5. What is your first step in letting God meet your needs?