If He Wanted to He WouldSample

Fantasy vs. Future

"But Esther, what do I do if the guy I'm talking to is so sweet and a Christian? He has a cross tattoo and said he wants to move to Kona to do YWAM. I'm pretty positive he likes me. He's just waiting on God's timing to make a move."

If I could, I'd slap you across the face and say, "WAKE UP!" Friend, this isn't Paradise Island; this is REAL LIFE, and that mindset does not empower you to live fully in your present moment. I remember thinking this exact thought about 500 times before it dawned on me that homeboy was never going to chase me. Not because God didn't give him a 'release,' but because he genuinely didn't WANT to. We are compelled to speak and take action when we desire something. Of course, as believers, we take time to consult the Holy Spirit and ask Him to guide our decisions, but at the end of the day, we are living a human experience. When I am hungry, I don't pray about whether I should eat. I desire to eat because it comes out of a natural need to nourish my body, and out of that place, I am drawn to the kitchen where the food is provided. That's how God designed it. When it comes to finding a spouse, the equation is the same. You need companionship, and you are drawn to what is attractive by a desire for a healthy individual to do life with that will lead to nourishment for your soul. That's how God designed it. When we misdiagnose a situation, we complicate things by masking our longing with false spirituality.

Let me be loud and clear: Ladies, just because a guy asks you out doesn't mean God sent him to you as a sign that you are finally 'ready' to get married, and just because you haven't been asked out doesn't mean you aren't 'ready,' or the guy you're into is praying and fasting on when to ask you. He either wants to ask you, or he doesn't. He either will or won't, and if he wanted to, he would.

Philippians 4:8 puts us in line, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." I know it's hard not to let your thoughts wander and dream into the idea of a future romance. I get it. Truthfully, I'm not saying this is wrong, but I feel we have fallen into the enemy's trap when we allow our mythicized ideas of the future to become the leading narrative in our life. We allow the fantasy to take the place of what is true, noble, right, and pure. Fantasy is not from God.

God promises to give you a future, not a fantasy. "I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Jeremiah 29:11

Ask yourself: Am I praying for God to fulfill my fantasy or my future?

*Cue Mariah Carey* "But it's just a sweet, sweet fantasy, baby, when I close my eyes, you come and take me, on and on and on. It's so deep in my daydreams, but it's just a sweet, sweet fantasy, baby!" Wow, I feel called out by Mariah.

Are you applying your faith to a thing you've built into an idol and asking heaven to breathe life into a lifeless god? Are you allowing God to speak the truth to you and purify your motives, or are you clinging to your fears and pretending to mask them with false spirituality?

Take some time to evaluate your heart's motives and seek the Lord if you've made an idol out of your fantasies. Ask Him to give you hope for the future He has for you.