The Marriage Toolkit - Parent EditionSample

Tool #2 - Mirror

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. For instance, our teenage boys never let their mother open her own car door, never forget to thank her for a meal she prepared, and always think to ask if she needs anything from the other room while they’re on their way. While they may just be imitating things they learned from their father, they are also building good character habits that will set them up for their future marriages.

God’s Word shows us that imitating the values of Christ is vital to showing others who He is. When we live out a Christ-focused life in our actions and attitudes, we are showing our kids what behaviors and characters to live out in their own lives.

By establishing a marriage that is grounded on Biblical principles, like Paul talks about in Ephesians, you and your spouse are given the amazing opportunity to mirror this relationship to your children. You can find practical ways to show them Christ every day.

For instance, while some conversations are best kept between husband and wife, sometimes it’s good for your kids to see tough conversations play out. You’d be amazed at what your kids learn from hearing how you make wise decisions and resolve problems in a united way. In the same way, seeing how you react when you’ve done something wrong teaches them how to apologize. By giving and receiving forgiveness, we get to teach our kids a lesson that will translate for the rest of their lives.

No parent is the “perfect parent”—there’s no such thing. Thankfully, the Lord isn’t asking us to be perfect, just to be more like Him. Pray continuously to be the best parent you can be, and God will guide you in all you do. Kids are like sponges—they absorb what you put into them, but when pressed or squeezed, those same things will come out. So, ask God to help you be the person you want your kids to be.

Engagement Point: Start adjusting your conversations and actions to reflect Christ. Take notice of what conversations and actions you are modeling for your kids. When you see how they are responding to others, it will show you what they are absorbing.