Presence MattersSample

Gloria had never been to a real restaurant before—one with menus, waiters, and unfamiliar foods. No matter how much her foster parents explained what it would be like, Gloria felt anxious.

When it was bedtime, Gloria stared at the ceiling, her mind racing with thoughts about what tomorrow might bring. How could they make her do this? The ball of fearful anxiety in Gloria's stomach began to turn into the armor of anger and frustration. They always do what they want to do, not what I want to do. Gloria’s anger drove her out of bed and straight into her foster mom’s room. Gloria shouted, “I’m not going to that stupid restaurant tomorrow! I don’t want to go anywhere with you people! You can’t make me!”

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When people feel safe, they have access to all parts of their brain, including an area called the prefrontal cortex, which helps us learn, use logic and reason, and predict how our actions might affect someone else.

Since the world we live in is not always safe, God designed our brains with an incredible capacity for protection. When we feel threatened by something or someone, the brain “shuts down” parts of itself—most importantly, the prefrontal cortex—to save energy for more important activities, like staying alive! This state is often referred to as the “fear brain,” and it instinctively reacts to perceived threats with a “fight, flight, or freeze” response. At that moment, we’re either going to attack the threat head-on, run away from it, or freeze, unable to do anything.

It is important for those who are growing in our awareness of the effects of trauma. When children live in constantly chaotic and unsafe environments, their brains are in a chronic state of fear. It’s like a gear shift that gets stuck; even if the environment and circumstances change, the brain cannot shift back to a healthy state.

Living in the fear brain looks like:

• A suppressed conscience, unable to distinguish right from wrong.
• Little access to higher-level thinking, planning, and reasoning.
• Use of protective strategies like manipulation, triangulation, and aggression that prevent healthy relationships.
• An inability or unwillingness to express one’s needs.
• An inability to discern the needs of others.
• A heightened startle response.
• A quick, sometimes irrational, shift into fight, flight, or freeze.

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God is well acquainted with the effects of fear. He knows how unhealthy levels of fear can disable the well-designed function of the human brain. But He hasn’t left us defenseless!

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)

We know both from Scripture and experience that a spirit of fear stands in direct opposition to a sound mind. It depletes our power and stifles our capacity to love. It’s why God is graciously persistent in offering us His perfect peace and protection. He longs for us to find our safety and security in Him. When we do, our brain can relax, having full access to all of its incredible capabilities. How beautiful! When we recognize fear and invite the peace of God into our lives and the lives of those around us, we are empowered to be part of God’s redemptive work in this broken and disintegrating world.

Trauma-Informed Tip: Learning the signs of the fear brain is key to a trauma-informed response. Look for:

• An inability to discern right from wrong.
• An inability to voice needs or recognize needs in others.
• A quick or irrational reaction of fight, flight, or freeze.
• Dilated pupils.
• A tense body or clenched jaw.
• An increase in the startle response.

When you recognize these signs of fear in yourself or others, make a plan to increase feelings of peace and safety. Pray for God’s peace, practice deep breathing, give or gather more information, or minimize other stress or distractions.

PRAYER: Jesus, we don’t want to be afraid. Give us courage and confidence to face our past hurts and unknown futures. Amen.

1. When I am afraid, is my natural tendency to attack the threat head-on, run away from it, or freeze where I am?
2. How have I experienced God’s peace in the middle of a fearful situation?
3. What are three ways I can feel safe when I am afraid? What are three ways I can help people around
   me feel safe when they are afraid?