When You've Been Hurt by the Church Sample

Recognize People Hurt, Not God

Unfortunately, church issues are not a new phenomenon. We see over and over in Paul's writings the call for unity and peace amongst the believers. He addresses false teachers in the church, disorder, quarrels over specific beliefs, and ways to conduct ministry in almost every one of his letters. Many people had their opinion on how to "do church" and how fellow believers should look and act. Yet, Paul still admonished them to live a life of peace and love amongst one another.

Listen to what Paul says to the church of Corinthians.

"I appeal to you, brothers and sisters in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought." 1 Corinthians 1:10 NIV

Jesus also speaks to the reality that believers will have times of struggle. He made sure to tell His disciples about this in Matthew 15.

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Matthew 18:15-17 ESV

The truth is, experiencing conflict with a fellow believer is not easy. Before long, it can be hard to remain at peace, as Paul instructs, but here's the bottom line, as long as we live in a sinful world, there will be times when others may inadvertently (or intentionally) cause us pain. People will say the wrong things. Some will take advantage of their authority. Others will disregard those who need the most help. This doesn't make it right, but it reminds us that we are all imperfect creatures needing a forgiving God. We can look to examples from the Word and know we are not the first to experience frustration within the local church.

Our second action step is to establish the pain you experienced wasn't God's way of punishing you or reflecting His heart toward you. People hurt; God doesn't.

I leave you with the following example.

Suppose you go to a grocery store with poor customer service. Although you were eager to go to the store, you visited the store only to find long lines, nothing was on the shelf, and the manager was extraordinarily rude. Chances are, you wouldn't continue to go to this particular store. You, likewise, wouldn't deem the creator of the chain of grocery stores to be an evil person. Instead, you would rightly establish this specific store in this specific town requires serious people skills. You will most likely find another store to frequent instead of cutting out grocery stores altogether.

Much like the example of the fictional store, let's not walk in bitterness toward every church because of a few. When a church hurt has become so painful that it causes you to hate going to church or never want to join another church, bitterness has taken root! Worse, if it has led you to no longer want a relationship with God, now is the time to seek the Lord more. Today, my prayer is that you will accurately know God genuinely loves you and cares about your spiritual health. Although others may have neglected you, this will never reflect God's heart toward you. As I like to say, those who've hurt you have taken enough from you. Don't allow them to compromise your relationship with God too!

Deeper Discussion

1. How has pain from your previous church hurt affected how you interact with your current church?
2. How does the Bible say God feels about you?
3. Read Proverbs 14:10, James 3:16. What are the effects of bitterness?