Who Are You Following? Sample

How Do You Go from Liked to Loved?

When Christian and I became boyfriend and girlfriend, I took on another role in addition to girlfriend: FBI Investigator Sadie Rob. Everything was great between us, and then I had the idea that I needed to look at my boyfriend’s Instagram. Well, not just look at it—investigate it.

I’d seen Christian’s Instagram so many times. But when I became Investigator Sadie, I started noticing stuff that I’d never really cared about before, including the girl that he went to a date party with, who was really pretty. All of a sudden I had a different perspective as I looked at those photos. I noticed her in a different way. I’m not even in college, and she’s in college, and Christian is in college; they have way more in common. My mind went through every other thought that you could possibly have while comparing yourself to somebody.

And then I saw another girl that he went to a party with, and I thought she was pretty too. I spiraled as I thought about how much fun they must have had and how beautiful those girls were, with their blonde hair and blue eyes, having fun at date parties.

After my investigation I walked away concluding I was no longer good enough for the relationship. I figured I should do everybody a favor and exit. I’d save Christian the hassle. I went to Christian and started telling him how I was feeling and processing all of my discouraged thoughts out loud. And then I realized that I had done this exact thing a few times in the past.

Years earlier I’d been dating a guy, and somebody said something about my looks not being up to par compared to another girl who had previously dated him. That really stuck with me—I carried that message into so many relationships that followed. But I couldn’t see that for a long time, and it got in the way of me getting close to people. It wasn’t that others weren’t willing to love me; it was that I didn’t feel very lovable. It wasn’t that they weren’t willing to date me; it was that I didn’t feel good enough to date them.

That little lie had been planted in my heart years beforehand, and I almost let that hateful message affect my relationship with the person I would later marry.

I caught myself in the middle of running away from Christian (when he hadn’t done anything wrong). He was standing there willing to give me his love, pursuing me with love and respect. He didn’t love me any less in that moment; I just felt less lovable. I felt like I was not good enough to accept his love.

Christian shared with me something very powerful that day. He said, “Yeah, those girls were indeed attractive girls.” At first it felt pretty odd to hear those words coming out of my boyfriend’s mouth, but then he said, “However, I am captivated by you.” He went on to say, “You can notice something is attractive, because the fact is, it’s attractive. But to be captivated means that you hold all my attention.” That day I stopped investigating and rested in the security that he was captivated by me.

We need to be that way with Jesus—to be captivated by Him. Yes, other people’s lives might be attractive to us. They may even seem better than ours. But instead of letting our perspective make us feel less than, we need to be captivated by the fact that God in and of Himself is enough for us in any season. We have to stop getting distracted by all that we see and let God hold our full attention.

So many times we do this with God. He is loving us, pursuing us, and asking us to be in a relationship with Him. He has written a couple-thousand-page love letter to us, but we have to allow ourselves to be loved.

We must begin to take God at His word that we are loved. When we refuse to allow ourselves to feel loved, we stop a relationship from being able to grow. Just like I was doing. But once we can accept His love into our hearts, we can trust His Word and His calling for our lives, no matter what that might look like measured up to another. Be captivated by your Creator, and don’t lose sight of His gaze.

Respond

Share a time when you felt unloved. Did you reach out to Jesus? How did He show His love to you?

Prayer

Lord Jesus, thank You for Your unconditional love. May I share it with someone today.