Student Leadership 601: Conflict and Communication Sample

Day Two — Build, Don’t Burn

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

Good leaders understand communication is about building bridges instead of burning them. We talked yesterday about leading by listening, but after you’ve listened, you’ll have an opportunity to speak — and your words carry weight.

Proverbs 18:21 (MSG) says, “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.”

You get to pick every time you open your mouth — will you develop a person or destroy them? In the same way a brick can be used to build a home or break a window, your words can be used to build people up or tear them down.

Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:29 we’re not to build people up according to our needs, but according to their needs. Becoming a powerful communicator shouldn’t be about getting your needs met or building your platform — it should be about meeting the needs of those around you and building a better world.

If you look at some of the greatest communicators throughout history (past and present), you’ll notice at their core, they were builders — and they weren’t trying to build a name for themselves. They were building a better tomorrow for the benefit of others. Both Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Nelson Mandela used their powerful communication skills to build a bridge to a better future for the oppressed and overlooked. Malala Yousafzai, at only 16 years old, went before the United Nations and expressed the importance of equal education for women.

These leaders used the spotlight to highlight injustices and encouraged those around them to rise together to build something better for all people. You might not be given a mic or a large platform right now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use your time and words to unite people under a common goal. Your voice could be the one that silences the bully at your school. Your voice could be the one that brings hope to the kid who feels unseen.

Practical Step: Who can you build up this week with your words? Speak up for the kid who is getting bullied at school. Speak up for the person who is being gossiped about. Speak up for those whose voices have been silenced. Speak up for that cause you’re passionate about. Speak seeds of life, and watch what grows.