Married Couples: Developing Healthy Spiritual HabitsSample

Spiritual Habit: Intimacy

“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”—Song of Solomon 6:3 (ESV)

In the Garden of Eden, we get an up-close and personal point of view of how God intended intimacy to be when in a relationship with Him. While there, God gave man purpose by working the land and naming all of the creatures (Genesis 2:19–20). He also created the first woman so that man wouldn’t be alone.

This is where we see God having a loving relationship with his children. It reveals to us how God intimately knows His children and their needs in order to have a fulfilling life. It’s a beautiful example of what a marital relationship should strive for. It’s a relationship that’s intimate and holy. It’s becoming one flesh and being naked, yet not being ashamed (Genesis 2:24–25).

However, this is often not the case. Intimacy in marriage can be scary and difficult for many couples. Unfortunately, one reason this may happen could be from past hurt and pain. But be encouraged because God is the healer of our past, so we can have the intimacy we long for in our marriage.

In today’s passage, we read, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” What beautiful words to say to someone; that they are yours and you are their one and only for life. These words are intimate. It speaks of a closeness that no one can penetrate, touch, or replace. It’s a state of being that brings love, healing, and openness. Being able to share your deepest thoughts, fears, weaknesses, desires, and passions without feeling judged. It’s having the security to be naked, yet not ashamed.

When there’s godly and holy intimacy, it allows the marriage bed to be a place of pleasure and undefiled love (Hebrews 13:4). It brings in the gift of sex that God gave us in order for a spiritual and physical bond to occur. It’s the becoming of one flesh and having an exclusive unity, closeness, and being in one accord (Mark 10:8). This is how marriage is intended to be and should be the goal to strive for. It’s not always easy to open your heart and allow yourself to be vulnerable, but if you’re willing to step out in faith, you’ll be given the courage and strength to do the work to have godly intimacy in your marriage.

The first step is to get real with God. Come to His throne with a humble heart asking for wisdom and understanding so you can have an intimate relationship not only with your beloved but with God. If an intimate relationship is not being pursued with the Lord, it will be challenging to have an intimate relationship with each other. The closer we draw near to the Lord, the closer He draws near to us, which allows us to draw closer to each other (James 4:8).

Pause: Is there a past hurt that keeps you from having intimacy in your marriage? Are you seeking intimacy with God?

Practice: Be intentional about drawing near to the Lord daily. Also, every day this week, challenge yourself to share something intimate and personal with your beloved.

Pray: Heavenly Father, we come before You with open and humble hearts, giving You praise and worship. Thank You for the gift of intimacy we have with You and with each other. We ask for the gift of wisdom and understanding in order to recognize what is keeping us from being intimate and know how to overcome what is hindering us from having intimacy. We thank You for our beloved and pray that they would seek You and draw near to You. We pray this all in the name of Jesus our Lord. Amen.