Mind Craft: Take Your Thoughts Captive to Transform Your Marriage Sample

Reframing Your Thoughts

In marriage, we tend to make assumptions about our spouse. We often think of and process our assumptions as truth and then we act on them as truth. Our problem is when we think our assumptions are true although they are not.

Our spouse will do or say something that we disagree with or just don’t like. Our spouse says that they will do something and then they forget and don’t do it. You are trying to make a point with your spouse and they get distracted and do not listen to you. How do we think about these things? Do we assume our spouse had negative intentions? Or do we decide not to personalize their actions?

We have these types of decisions often. What we think will affect the decisions we make about our spouse. Philippians 4:8 exhorts us to focus on what is good, noble and excellent. Will we choose to focus on the good in our spouse? Or to fixate on their faults and flaws?

Don’t miss this: When something negative happens in your marriage, it is so important to separate the issue from your spouse.We are all human and we all have faults. Some of us have more faults than others. There will always be issues for us to deal with but they do not change who we are as husband and wife.

Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” In other words, don’t let the ways of our culture, family of origin, or anything else that is negative stay in your mind. Change your thinking. Reframe the thoughts in your mind.

I don’t think our marriages ever stand still. The thoughts you think about your spouse are the engine that drives the train. If your thoughts are positive, your marriage moves forward. If they are negative, your marriage will move backwards. If your marriage goal is an awesome marriage, you will never reach that destination if negative thoughts about your spouse and your marriage dominate your thoughts.

So it is up to you. Every day you have a choice. Positive thoughts or negative thoughts. Reframe or don’t reframe. Move your marriage forward or move it backwards. Don’t forget that God is just waiting for you to invite him in. You have a choice. Which will you choose?

Next Steps:

• How can you apply these words, “do not conform to the pattern of this world” to your marriage?
• What thoughts do you have about your spouse that need to be reframed?
• What are some of the good, noble and excellent qualities your spouse has?
• Moving forward, what thoughts about your spouse do you want to dominate your thinking?

Resource:

Do you have an awesome marriage?

How does your marriage measure up? Is it healthy? Do you and your spouse communicate well? How does your marriage stack up against the rest? Is it Christ-centered? Find out where your marriage is now and learn your next steps to an awesome marriage.