Back TogetherSample

The Not-So-Open Road

By Dave Boehi

When I was young and single and stupid, I didn’t like making reservations when I was planning for a road trip. Why reserve a specific hotel in a specific city when I didn’t know how far I would drive that day?

Driving to visit my family took about 18 hours, and I tried to knock off as many as I could the first day. When my eyes began drooping late at night, I would look for a motel. 

Then along came my wife. Preparing for our first visit to my parents’, she suggested we make reservations. I didn’t take her suggestion. Hey, it was part of the adventure! 

Late that night, we began looking for a room. And when I say “looking for,” I mean literally driving up and down the freeway searching for a place with the “vacancy” sign lit up. This was before the advent of smartphones that show you nearby options and allow you to book a reservation online from the convenience of your vehicle.

We finally found a room at 3 a.m. 

I didn’t fully realize then that my lack of planning was plain stupidity—the privilege of a single man. But I did recognize I should start thinking of my wife’s interests more than my own. 

She needed the safety and security of knowing how far we would drive each day, that we would stay in a hotel (with an “h”) with clean sheets and no six-legged guests. As her husband, I needed to make that my priority.

Any marriage is a union of two selfish people who both want to “do it my way.” When we try to make choices together—on issues ranging from how to spend the paycheck to how to fold towels—we continually battle our wants. Yet Philippians 2:3 challenges us to “count others more significant than yourselves.” 

Keep this verse in mind as you consider the choices that affect your marriage. As for me? I’ll gladly sacrifice those extra late-night miles to experience the trip with her.

Action points: The best place for us to practice humility—being “servants of all”—is in the little stuff. Find at least one way to make Philippians 2:3-4 a reality by choosing your spouse instead of yourself. And remember the ancient proverb: “The foolish man ignores his wife for the sake of adventure, but the wise man makes hotel reservations far in advance.”