Forgiveness

As a single adult, we can often feel like a social pariah. People ask why we’re still single as if something is wrong with us. While there is nothing wrong with being single, some of us are experts at holding onto pain and pushing people away. For us to be successful in relationships, we have to learn to forgive.

I know what it’s like to shut everyone out because of past pain. When I was 6 years old, I was sexually abused. I believed the lie that it was my fault. I felt dirty, damaged, and unworthy of love. I was so ashamed that I hid the real me and never let anyone get too close emotionally. I craved connection, but I also feared it. I even hurt others because I was hurting. I thought I needed to hurt them before they hurt me. 

As an adult, I began the healing process to work through my childhood trauma and wounds from past relationships. I had to heal from the rejection, shame, insecurity, and low self-worth. Through that process, I learned I don’t have to let what happened in my childhood affect my relationships now. I can choose to forgive. I can choose to let God heal my heart. 

It was indescribably hard, and it didn’t happen overnight, but I have forgiven the perpetrators who abused me as a child. I’ve also been able to forgive myself for the things I’ve done to others because of my pain. Practicing forgiveness has made it possible for me to have healthier relationships today.

Forgiveness is vital in our relationship with God and with others. Maybe your past pain is similar to mine, or maybe you’ve experienced a different hurt. Maybe your father never had a kind word to say to you or you were betrayed by an ex. Whatever happened in your past that makes it difficult for you to trust others, you must allow God to heal those wounds so you can forgive.

God calls us to forgive others, just as we have been forgiven for so much. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what happened was ok or that it didn’t matter. Choosing to forgive someone for the hurt they caused frees you from bondage. Ask God to help you heal and forgive so you can step into healthier relationships.