Listening for Answers to the Questions Every Teenager Is AskingSample

Day Three

NOW-GOD-HOW Conversations

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13; 1 Thessalonians 5:19

What does it look like to be a faithful guide on the path to discipleship? As we share our own stories and lives, here are three steps we can take with young people to create better conversations:

NOW 

First, we listen for what is going on NOW in students’ identity, belonging, and purpose. Sometimes the “now” is right on the surface: a friend group falls apart, college applications are almost due, she gets cut from the team, he discovers a love for theater. 

Other times the answer is less obvious. We may get the put-together version of the story or the closed-door answers of “fine” or “good.” As we ask more questions and do more exploring, we can listen for the answers below the water—sometimes way below. 

GOD 

Next, we practice wondering and discernment. This puts us in a posture to look for how GOD is present with students and then explore better Christ-centered answers to their three big questions. 

In this part of the conversation, we gain perspective to talk about the “now” concerns in light of God’s nature, promises, presence, and action. We do this by wondering how God’s Spirit is already in the midst of the current situation and inviting the student to see it. As adult mentors, leaders, or parents, we can help a young person discern the ways God is active. We may use specific prompts and questions such as these: 

I wonder how God might be at work through this situation? 

I wonder if you’ve sensed God’s Spirit present with you in this? 

How can I help you pray about this? 

Together, we can explore the Christ-centered answers that free a young person to live out of a truer sense of identity, belonging, and purpose. 

HOW 

Eventually, we can offer direction. The HOW part of the conversation helps a teenager take the next step toward living out better answers. But be careful not to jump into this mode too soon. We become a trusted guide only after we have listened well and empathized. At that point, we can practice truth-telling, leading them into more faithful discipleship. 

This NOW-GOD-HOW conversation framework gives us the skills we need to help teenagers move toward transformation.

Think about a recent conversation with a teenager. How could the NOW-GOD-HOW framework have been helpful at the moment?