[5 Conversations With Christ] Anxiety and WorrySample

Cognitive Errors

A cognitive error is a wrong way of thinking, and it’s a problem. Cognitive errors result in worry and anxiety. I’m going to give you eight of them, from The Feeling Good Handbook by David D. Burns. Every one of these has affected me at some point. The first three are:

1. All-or-nothing thinking. There are no shades of gray. There is no grace. If I don’t look like the lady on the magazine, I’m ugly. If I’m not as thin as the model, I’m fat. It’s all or nothing. If I’m not perfect, or if I get something wrong, I’m a failure. If I don’t make straight A’s, I’ll never get into college. It’s either Princeton or prison—but there's a lot between those extremes! 

2. Overgeneralization. This is when you use terms like always or never. When you make a mistake, you say, “I always get it wrong,” or “I’m a terrible parent. I’m a bad leader. I'm not a good friend. I'm an idiot. I never get it right. How do I always mess up? Why do I always put my foot in my mouth?”

3. Mental filter. You focus on a single negative piece of information and exclude all of the positive. You cooked the perfect meal and had all your friends over, but all you remember is that the rolls were singed. One thing stuck out, and that’s what you obsess over. This error affects me. Do you know what I think about on Sunday nights? I lie in bed and think of things I said that weren’t quite right: a phrase, a scripture, or word that I misspoke. Even though I gave three whole messages, I obsess about just one word or sentence. I have to pause my mental filter, to wait a minute. Then I pray, “Lord, You use the weak to confound the strong. You use the unwise to confound the wise. Thank You, God, that the message was not perfect. In my weakness, You are strong.”