Together In The JourneySample

People Will Talk

“There are numerous blogs, videos, and articles on the Internet by parents who have been involved in the adoption process. Many point to the lack of sensitivity displayed by people questioning families regarding their adoption experiences. I could certainly relate to how parents feel when people ask questions without thinking about how their comments and questions come across. I literally laughed out loud at some of the blogs and videos because they shared experiences so similar to my own.

For those considering adoption, I advise not taking offense at negative reactions to your plans; we should live our lives for an audience of One and not be so easily entangled in the snares of discouragement. We serve a God who created us and has plans for our lives that are so much better than we can imagine and definitely more than others can imagine for us.”(Chapter 4)

So, I am just going to cut straight to the point here: someone is going to say something hurtful to you during your adoption process. Unfortunately, it might even be more than one person. I can almost guarantee you that someone will ask an insensitive question or make an insensitive statement. Without even realizing it, this person may even criticize your child because they are of a different race or they may have some sort of disability.

Let these moments be a time in which you dig deep within your heart to respond with grace and exhibit kindness, gentleness, and self-control. They are the Fruits of the Spirit, after all, and we are called to emulate the One who dealt with way more cruelty and negativity than we can imagine.

Use this time as a season of sanctification, chipping away and sharpening your character as you grow stronger in the Lord. The insensitive words said and the questions asked were really just distractions put in place by the enemy. It is his goal to distract your focus from the spiritual task at hand by sending you down the gloomy path of an offended and critical spirit. And we must remember that the majority of the time, people have good intentions when asking their questions.

These questions are often simply not phrased correctly or asked without any thought to their implication. Usually, if a person is asking these questions, they are asking because they are excited, concerned, or interested…all signs of someone who cares.

Is there someone who has hurt you by his or her words or actions that you need to forgive? Have you mistakenly hurt another? Pray now and ask the Holy Spirit to soften your heart and forgive or if necessary provide you with humility to seek the forgiveness of the other person.