Inside Out: A 40 Day Journey to Transforming Your HeartSample

Angry Heart --> Forgiving Heart

Psychologists explain that anger is considered a secondary emotion. Usually, under the thick exterior of anger is fear or sadness. Fear can be from anxiety or worry. Sadness can stem from loss, disappointment, or discouragement. These underlying feelings may be uncomfortable and cause us to not feel in control. To avoid these emotions, we can subconsciously transfer them into anger. Anger gives us the illusion that we are in control and have power, when, in reality, under the surface, we feel uncertain and vulnerable. Understanding where the anger stems from helps us deal with it healthily so that we aren’t trapped in an emotion that will destroy us and those around us. The wisest man who ever lived, King Solomon, says in Ecclesiastes 7:9, “Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools.”

The more we meditate on what angers us, the angrier we become. Hosea 7:6 says, “For with hearts like an oven they approach their intrigue; all night their anger smolders; in the morning it blazes like a flaming fire.” Anger can become addicting. We feel powerful. Unfortunately, the power of anger creates an unsafe environment. This causes people to avoid us and destroys our chance for deep, intimate community where we can be fully known and loved.

Not all anger is a sin. God gets angry and is without sin. It is how we react when we are angry that can be sinful. Psalm 4:4 says, “Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.” We are to consider how to respond Biblically to an offense and remain silent until we can respond without anger. Psalm 37:8 says, “Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.” When we continue to mull over an offense and fret about it, we will, at some moment, explode with words that are not wise or helpful. Psalm 39:3 says, “My heart became hot within me. As I mused, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue.” Our anger usually stirs up more conflict and creates another layer of sin to work through. Proverbs 29:22 says, “A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.”

We are to be slow in getting angry. Proverbs 14:29 says, “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” James 1:19-20 gives us this advice, “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” It is unwise, unproductive, and unrighteous to respond in anger.

Anger is like a fire, and the only thing that can put it out is a heart of forgiveness. Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” The Apostle Paul says to put bitterness, wrath, and anger far away from us. The moment we are angry, we need to choose what to do with it. Will we stew over it? Will we get others angry along with us through slander and gossip? Paul says our response to others should not be to react in anger or slander but to be kind and forgive.

We are again being called out to live differently than the world. The world wants us to be angry and act wrathfully toward others when injustice happens. Though righteous anger is Biblical, this does not give us the license to act out angrily to demand justice. What if the best way to get justice is to begin with kindness? What if we forgave those who were unjust? Luke 6:37 says, “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.” God is the judge, and His wrath will fall on the unrighteous.

The Bible commands us to forgive. Colossians 3:13 says, “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” We are asked to forgive anyone for anything. That seems practically impossible. Forgiveness is a beautiful gift to receive, but it’s challenging to give. Some of us have been grievously harmed by others, which seems like an impossible expectation Jesus is placing on us. C.S. Lewis says, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in us.” God has forgiven everything we have done, no matter the gravity of the offense. He is calling us to do the same. No ifs, ands, or buts about it!

Instead of mulling over the situation and simmering in our anger, we are called to pray when we are angry. Mark 11:25 says, “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” Jesus expects us to forgive if we desire the Father to forgive us. When we refuse to forgive, we give Satan an advantage in our lives to control our emotions and responses. He wants us to stay in our anger because he knows it will lead to bitterness, and bitterness leads to death.

Forgiveness is an attitude of letting go of resentment and our right to get even. We leave the ramifications to God to handle. We cannot stay in our anger and hope for a good outcome in any relationship. No relationship can move forward to heal without forgiveness being extended first. The ultimate goal in granting forgiveness is to bring glory and honor to God. Forgiveness is an opportunity to be part of something eternal, to shower our gratitude on the One who forgave us for everything. It’s an offering, a sacrifice, a love gift to God for Him and Him alone. It is also a credible way to show the world that the gospel is real. When we extend forgiveness to others, it is a vivid testimony of God working in our lives and how much we trust Him. When we let go of our anger and forgive, we are changed from the inside out, and healing can begin.

Take a Moment:

• Who have you been angry with that you need to pray for?

• Who do you need to forgive in your heart so that you can experience God’s grace and forgiveness in your own life?

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, help me better understand what I feel when I get angry. Help me to go to You with my anger so that I do not react in wrath but respond in love, kindness, and forgiveness. Thank You for being a righteous judge who will handle the unjust in Your timing. Help me to show the world that the gospel is real by choosing, by faith, to forgive others. Amen.