Challenging Your Distorted Thoughts After InfidelitySample

Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANT)

Psychiatrist Daniel Amen uses the acronym ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) to describe the pessimistic, cynical, and hopeless thoughts that can plague a troubled person. It’s easy to fall into automatic negative thinking, especially when you feel trapped and unable to come up with any practical solutions to your problems.

Here are a few classic examples of ANTs or ANT-like thinking:

· Extreme-ing: thinking in unrestrained ways (“He’s exactly like his adulterous father. He will never change.”)

· Labeling: attaching a negative label to yourself or others (“I’m an idiot for staying in the marriage with a know-it-all husband.”)

· “Always/never” thinking: using words like always, never, no one, everyone, every time, and everything when you think about or describe your situation (“Our marriage has always been broken.” Or “Nothing’s ever been happy for us, and no one can help.”)

· Fortune-telling: predicting the worst possible outcome in a situation (“If I tell him how I feel, he’ll divorce me, and then my children and I will be homeless.” Or “We’ll never be able to have good or meaningful sex again.”)

The first step in dealing with ANTs is to recognize them for what they are. In your journal, write out the events and circumstances associated with your automatic negative thoughts. Take an objective look at your feelings. Then when you’ve identified the ANT, kill it. In other words, counter the irrational thought with a more accurate and reasonably flexible assessment of reality. You’ll be surprised what a difference this simple process can make.

Next, we’ll look more closely at over-spiritualization.