Fight for Their HeartsSample

Intimacy vs. Insecurity

Over the years of ministering to men from all walks of life, I (Tim) have discovered there are a lot of us struggling with religion the same way I did. Not knowing any better. Not understanding the difference. And, just like me, many of us are becoming more frustrated and disillusioned by the day. Rather than finding answers, the questions just keep mounting. Trust me, I get it.

As men of faith, regardless of our spiritual maturity, what we all truly want is for our kids to know and love God. We want them to be transformed by the gospel. None of us want to see our children carry the burden of dead religion. We hope to see them experience intimacy with their heavenly Father. 

Yet as dads, we cannot give something away that we ourselves do not have. If we don’t recognize truth, we will transfer that same performance-based, fear-motivated religion to our children, like a bad strand of family DNA. And the vicious cycle will continue with the next generation.

How many people do you know who say they are Christians and yet their faith just doesn’t seem to be making a big difference in their lives? The question is not about passing judgment, but rather about being honest about evidence. As always, Jesus said it best: “Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions” (Matt. 7:20).

Let’s say you have two apple trees—one with plastic fruit that someone has placed on the branches and the other with actual apples produced on its own. If someone bumps into both trees, which one’s fruit falls off? The apples that are just decorations will fall to the ground because they are not actually part of the tree. Real fruit comes from the tree itself and doesn’t fall off when the tree is shaken. 

God doesn’t want us faking fruit. He wants to produce in us fruit that grows out of our intimate relationship with Him. He doesn’t want us showing people who we wish we were, pretending we’re patient, forgiving, or compassionate. God wants to mold us more and more into the image of His Son. He wants to authentically produce those attributes, the good fruit, in and through us. This happens as we understand His ways and trust Him through obedience. Living for Christ is not about willpower or sheer discipline, but a changed heart. 

[When we come to salvation in Christ,] God doesn’t remove our ability to sin. Rather, He gives us His Spirit to now offer a new choice—the same choice Adam and Eve had prior to when the enemy showed up. They were fully connected to God, but He gave them the free will to choose Him or to sin. They were not robots. In the same way, when we are in Christ, we are fully connected to God. He gives us the moment-by-moment choice between Him and sin. We can choose to walk in the flesh or in the Spirit. We are not robots either.