Friendship for Girls: Teaching Healthy Habits to Our DaughtersSample

Praying for Our Friends

“Aunt Amy, I don’t think Rose wants to be my friend anymore, and I don’t think I want to bother trying to be her friend, either,” Keira huffed as she walked through the front door.

“I was just heading to the kitchen for hot cocoa. Why don’t we chat while we drink some?” Keira’s aunt said. As Keira sipped her hot cocoa, she told Aunt Amy the story. Lately, Rose rarely wanted to hang out, and when she did, she got frustrated easily.

Aunt Amy set her mug down thoughtfully. “Rose’s dad is a soldier and he left two months ago on a yearlong deployment. You knew that, right? Do you think maybe Rose’s behavior is partly because she misses her dad and is struggling?” Keira was quiet for a moment. “I hadn’t thought about that. I know how close she is with her dad. Maybe she misses him and it just spills out in different ways. Maybe I need to give her grace.”

Like Keira, we might wonder how we can be a good friend when someone is going through a really hard time—especially if it is causing them to treat us unkindly. First, we can stop to think about a situation through our friend’s point of view instead of our point of view. Some people want to be left alone when they are sad, and we shouldn’t decide they don’t like us just because they don’t want to hang out.

Second, we can give them grace. When we are stressed, angry, sad, or scared, we might get frustrated or angry easily. It doesn’t make the behavior okay, but maybe we can understand why people act that way. Third, we can pray. Jesus loves everyone, even if they don’t know him. Jesus specifically tells us to pray for the people who are mean to us and who hurt our feelings. Why? Because Jesus knows that hurt people have a tendency to hurt others. He can see the pain in their heart while we just see their bad behavior.

Parent Conversation Starter

Discuss common topics of prayer we can always choose to pray over our friends. Then, move on to asking if our friends are facing something hard that we should pray about specifically. Pick a time and place to begin the habit of praying for friends (during meal prayers, during bedtime prayers, while driving to soccer practice, etc.).

Things to Think About

Has there been a time when you’ve been sad or angry and were unkind to your friends? How did that make you feel inside?

Think of a time when a friend tried to cheer you up when you were sad. What did she say or do that helped you feel better?

Daily Act of Friendship

Do you have a classmate or friend struggling in some way that shows up in unkind behaviors? Pray for him or her every day for one month and find small ways to be kind.

Friendship in Action

Create a care package for a friend who is sick or going through a hard time. Pick a few of your friend’s favorite items to put together in a gift bag (these do not have to be expensive!). Suggestions: a favorite candy/snack, nail polish, book, game, magazine, flower, lotion, notebook, or anything else you think they’d like.