Habits of HolinessSample

Say You’re Sorry!

Have you ever been in a fight or done something mean to a sibling or friend, only to have your mom demand that you apologize? You don’t necessarily feel sorry, but you say so anyway, with all the sarcasm and eye-rolling you can muster! While your mom definitely had great intentions through this whole process, don’t get mixed up thinking that you actually repented. 

Repentance can be explained as a 180-degree turn; like you’re headed one way and then do a complete about-face and move in the opposite direction. This definition describes an intentional action, which is super important, but it’s not a one-time practice. 

See, repentance is so much more than feeling bad for doing wrong or saying we’re sorry for hurting someone. Repentance may start with those things, but it doesn’t stop with those things. Repentance is a radical change in direction. Not only do we turn our hearts in the direction of God, we also aim our actions in the direction of God.

David, Israel’s most famous king, was called “a man after God’s own heart.” And this is how he’s remembered, despite the fact that he blatantly committed adultery and murder! How can that be? Well, because David practiced repentance, he was someone who was known for moving in God’s direction. He lived out this habit. So what can we learn from him, his mistakes, and his prayers?

First, we see that repentance involves admitting we’ve messed up: 

Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. Psalm 51:4 NIV

Repentance requires owning up when we screw up, but it’s not just pretending we’re sorry in order to make someone happy. We’ve got to actually recognize the cost and ask for forgiveness. Again, David demonstrates:

Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:11-12 NIV

David understood the consequences of his decisions; he had jeopardized his intimate relationship with God by choosing to follow his own desires. But beyond just recognizing his error, David begs God to restore him, to heal their relationship. And he asks for help, for sustaining strength going forward as he commits to doing better. And here’s what his commitment looks like:

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24 NIV

David’s commitment to doing better required consistency and vulnerability. He continually opened himself up to God, allowing the Lord to point out anything that was inconsistent with David’s radical change in direction. And this process—admitting we’ve messed up, asking for forgiveness, and committing to doing better—that’s what real repentance looks like.   

Habit 3: Practice repentance. Take a cue from David and start praying Psalm 139:23-24 daily. Pray or journal at the end of the day and start inviting God to show you if there is any offensive way in you, anything that is not holy, anything that is hindering you from living out your calling as a holy person representing your holy God. Along the way, you’ll discover that practicing repentance in the small things makes it so much easier to practice repentance in the big things. It takes vulnerability, but it leads to greater intimacy in your relationship with God and to richer, more meaningful relationships with others.