The Joy SwitchSample

When we are relationally offline and our relational circuit is no longer working in a moment, this state can be called Enemy Mode. Enemy Mode is when the relational circuit goes off and the people we love feel more like enemies instead of friends and family members. In enemy mode we feel like we must win or fight to survive. These verses in Ephesians 4 clearly contrast enemy mode with relational mode. It also reminds us that God’s desire is to see us live in the very best of relational mode where we are kind, tender, and forgiving. Learning to live with our relational circuit engaged is a process of training our brain to run on joy, and we can use peace as the gauge to alter us when we are in danger of slipping into enemy mode. 

Colossians 3:15 says, “let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” The word “rule” can also be translated “umpire,” so we can allow the umpire of peace to throw the flag when we are relationally out of bounds. Learning to recognize when we lose our peace is one of the best ways to notice when we have fallen out of relational mode. 

Our bodies send us helpful signals that peace is leaving the building, if only we can learn to recognize them. Rapid breathing and heart rate, muscle tension, and unfocused or busy thoughts are signs we have lost the peace of Christ. As we notice these warning signals in our body, it is good to move into the CARS habits:

• Connect with God or a person who is special to you. If no person is available, think back on previous memories of connection. 
• Take time to appreciate what is good about your life. Appreciation of even small things like a refreshing walk, a warm drink, or the smile of a friend or stranger, can help restore you to your relational self. 
• Allow yourself to rest, whether it’s a microbreak in the middle of a hectic day, or giving yourself the gift of a nap, a quiet moment outdoors, or looking through some peaceful pictures. 

Each of us has unique feelings, reactions, bodies, and nervous systems. Over time, we can each discover how the CARS habits work best for us. Some of us find that connection quickly brings peace, while others notice that rest and appreciation restore relational mode most efficiently. Welcome the opportunity to experiment with these habits and try to practice how you apply them in different situations. Ask God for wisdom and perseverance as you learn the habits that help you quickly move out of enemy mode and back into His perfect plan for you – relational connection and peace throughout all of your days. 

Practice

Today’s exercises will help you recognize enemy mode and restore relational mode. 

1. Take three slow, deep breaths. After each breath, say, “Whatever today brings, I will trust in you, O Lord.” 

2. Spend two minutes meditating on something you appreciate in your life. This might be a person, pet, a place, or a moment in your past. Remember as many elements of this memory as possible: Who was with you? Where were you? What did you see, hear, or touch? How did you feel in your emotions? What about your body sensation? 

As you go through your day, schedule moments to practice the CARS habits. You may want to set the timer on your phone to remind you hourly to practice Connection, Appreciation, Rest, or Shalom My Body. Notice whether this helps you maintain relational mode during the day.

At THRIVEtoday, a ministry launched by Chris and Jen Coursey in 2018, we want to see people living fully in the joy that God gave them.  To help you measure your ability to stay relationally engaged, we created a free assessment to take your relational temperature, which you can find at thrivetoday.org/joyswitch/.  

You can find the full Shalom My Body exercises with The Joy Switch author Chris Coursey here)