Mode Matters

During a particular time of questionable decision-making by my then 16-year-old son, I told him in fatherly frustration, “There is more than one approach to making good decisions! It’s not simply about right versus wrong. It’s also wise versus foolish!” 

Proverbs echoes this repeatedly, including in Proverbs 29:11, which states, “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.” This is so appropriate for today. In our social media culture, where we can spout off and comment about anything and get involved in online battles, it’s disturbingly easy to “vent all your feelings.” I’ve discovered that when I’m quick to open my mouth, I’m also quick to taste my foot. 

Not that we remain silent on important issues or about sharing the Gospel. The problem isn’t typically our message—it’s our mode! It’s easy to let personal stances on issues become personal attacks on character, and we then stray from wise restraint to foolish venting. We believe that because we are right in our perspective that we must also be right in our response. In turn, we give “full vent” and go from wise to foolish in the time it takes us to tweet a response! 

Perhaps we should imitate our Savior, who quietly held back in the middle of His great injustice for the sake of God’s plan. As it states in Isaiah 53:7, “Like a sheep silent before her shearers, He did not open His mouth.” Next time, before you vent all your feelings over a frustration, ask yourself, “Am I being wise or foolish? Am I following Christ’s example?” 

Reflective Questions: 

1.  Has there been a time when you felt conviction over a response (verbal or written) to a person or issue? 

2.  What triggers you from quietly holding back to fully venting? Is this something that you’ve sought God’s help?

3.  If you could go back and alter your response by applying Proverbs 29:11, what would you have done differently? 

Memory Verse:

A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back. Proverbs 29:11

Prayer:

Dear God, thank you for the wisdom to know when I should speak up and when I should remain silent. Help me to not allow my emotions to control me, but rather to speak in a way pleasing to You.