Stalled - Hope And Help For PastorsSample

Elijah’s story in the Old Testament has always fascinated me. How could a man of God who had just prayed for fire to fall from heaven get discouraged enough to want to die a few days later? He had seen God do incredible things through him as well as for him … Now he was deciding to quit? What happened to him?

What happened to Elijah is the same thing that makes all of us think we should be there by now. He had a blind spot and ended up getting blindsided. The lesson for us is that it doesn’t matter whether you can call down fire from heaven or if you’re leading a church of thirty. Any leader can be blindsided.

Several years ago, I began to understand my blind spot of measuring my relationship with Jesus from a performance-based, or works-based, point of view. Like most folks, I was apprehensive about dealing with it at first. But acknowledging and working on it took me down a path I wish I would have traveled much earlier.

The real issue in those early years was that I was driven to perform to earn the Lord’s favor. I continuously lived with the concern that He was going to be disappointed with me. Each new day increased my fear that Jesus would be disappointed with the results of my ministry life when I finally saw Him in heaven.

The pressure to perform eventually infiltrated every aspect of my life. Even though I knew theologically that my performance didn’t bring me closer to God, my internal dysfunction took control of me. I needed to do works for affirmation. Simply put, I needed to show something in order to feel approved. This blind spot became a normal part of my daily routine.

No matter what I accomplished, it never seemed to be enough. I couldn’t ever be sure if I had done enough to score high marks or earn God’s approval. I simply couldn’t get there.

Do you feel as if you conclude every evening by reflecting on how you came up short that day? Does feeling like you are somehow disappointing Jesus also weighs heavy on your heart? If you relate to these questions, then you are probably out of balance. 

I wonder whether you also have developed the blind spot of shame. Have you resorted to using your abilities to grow the church, only to find them ineffective? Or have you reached the point where you try to hide from Jesus while leading His church? Is the pressure to perform exacting a heavy toll on your life?

Remember, the first step to freedom is admitting you have a problem. It’s time to stop carrying the weight of shame that was never intended for you.